Tell us about your weekend ride

I don't normally do ride reports but I am in Devon and bored. So...

My boss had demanded I take a day off this month as I’d yet to touch my year’s annual leave allocation, and I’d picked Monday (today) without any real plans for it, so figured it’d make a good recovery day for a stupidride on Sunday. My original plan was something seasidesque of the Maldon/Dunwich ilk, but having nearly been blown off Tower Bridge on the Friday I decided to go for something more southwesterly. Which gave me the opportunity to try something I’ve been contemplating for a while: riding to my parents’ house near Exeter in one go.

I’ve done the ride a couple of times in 2/3 day attempts, but unfortunately this hasn’t helped me learn a decent route as I am a bit disorganised. This attempt was no different: managed to do route directions for the first 70 miles, then got bored and went to bed instead. I departed early Sunday morning sleep-befuddled, extremely unprepared and entirely unconvinced I was going to make it.

I can’t actually remember the first 40 odd miles because I was half asleep and I was doing my old commute to Guildford, but I definitely woke up when I got a pinch flat while going down something pretty steep somewhere in the Surrey Hills. After managing not to land in a hedge I inspected the damage and only then noticed quite how bad a state my front tyre was in. Hmm, possibly wasn’t the best day to have only brought one tube and no patch kit. I checked the tyre pretty thoroughly, being aware that another puncture could fuck everything up magnificently; hoped for the best, and promptly punctured again approximately 2 miles later.

Being in the middle of nowhere I decided my best best was to try and head for a main road to see if I could hitch a lift to Guildford or somewhere, so I set off on a lovely countryside walk and tried not to have a tantrum at my own idiocy. After about 20 minutes a handy roadie with a long valve tube kindly sorted me out, and things were back on track. I pumped it up as best I could with my not-that-great mini pump, crossed everything and set off Godalmingwards with about 50psi in the front, no more spares and extra grit and determination.

The route from this bit to Alton was absolutely lovely, which took my mind off the state of my tyre and lack of equipment to deal with further punctures for a bit. It got even better when I crossed over the A3 and into some lanes towards Frensham when who should I bump into but the forum’s very own adroit, who was mechanicing for a CTC challenge ride. (Curiously last time I was out that way I bumped into him as well, on braker’s Bristol ride.) Absolute hero adroit gave me two spare tubes and an extra 70psi in my front tyre, and buoyed by this and the pleasure of bumping into a friendly face I set off to towards Alton, slightly regretting my decision to attempt this ride on 81 gear inches.

In Alton I stopped off for food and remembered that the Boots staff there hate vegetarians, and then headed off for Winchester via my old favourite New Alresford/Itchen Stoke/Kings Worthy route, followed by my favourite route out of Winch down Port Lane (because it makes me think of port, and it never has any cars on it. Oh, and it’s flat). Hopped onto the A road towards Romsey before picking up the magnificent Lee Lane (which for some reason has been closed to motor vehicles since I’ve known it) and followed that down to the Southampton bridge that takes you to the New Forest.

I’ve yet to figure out the rest of the route so everything went a bit shambolic here after I attempted to go heavy on the A roads but after getting about a mile and a half down the A31 the hard shoulder disappeared, so I spent about half an hour walking down the gravelly verge with cars shooting past 3cm away from me at 70mph. That was not a highlight. After finally finding a way into the actual foresty bit I cheered up at the New Forest’s various charms/pubs/ponies, and then proceeded to get really fucking lost for another hour before having a tantrum and getting on the A35 all the way to Lyme Regis.

There isn’t too much to add to the ride report on that as it was really just sitting on an A road for quite a long time, though I did grow quite fond of the A35 (or I did until it started getting hilly, anyway). Somewhere outside of Christchurch I realised I’d picked up yet another puncture, so attempted a tube change/boot job outside a petrol station, and set off, lamenting being back on 50 psi and longing for another track pump top-up. I punctured AGAIN somewhere near Dorchester and had a proper tantrum about that one and actually refused to change the tube and just pumped it up instead, so did most of the last 50 miles on about 20 psi. This unfortunately combined with everything getting really quite hilly; I had flipped my wheel so was running 48/18 instead of the 16 I’d done the first 120 miles on, but it was still pretty unpleasant. And it dragged.

By the time I got about 10 miles away from my parents’ house I was falling asleep on my bike again, which was extremely irritating. I must get better at dealing with that. However, I was cheered by some excellent Devon wildlife, including a shoal of deer having an evening snack; a dead badger lying on his front with his back legs sticking out like he’d just given up on the futility of it all; and a lone Basset Hound patrolling the countryside like he’d been born into the wrong body but wasn’t going to let his ridiculous legs stop him being Boss.

That’s it! I had a shower when I got home. I stank. Then I fell asleep. I think it was approx. 208 miles with approx. 13000 ft of climbing. Would totally do it again, but 1) with non-fucked tyres; 2) with a route; and 3) probably with gears.

Oops that was a bit long. Sorry for all the words.