Stopped by police cycling with child in childseat

I've since found an article on The Telegraph website about a father who was fined for carrying a child on a bike last year, despite the seat being approved to British safety standards and correctly fitted.

Whatever that is taped to the top tube doesn't look like something that might comply with any safety standards. Seems the police were spot on, unlike your unfortunate situation in which they appear to have been a bit of a bell end.

Hope it gets sorted out and you're both back on the bike asap.