Tell us about your weekend ride

6.5 hours Saturday into Hertfordshire and Essex
~10 pints, give or take some whiskies
3.5 hours Sunday from Essex back to west London

In homage to Mötorhead’s ‘No sleep ‘til Hammersmith’, earlier I set off on an equally hardcore pilgrimage I christened ‘No fag stops ‘til Melton Mowbray’. Alas that bastard hill midway scuppered my chances, which in comparative terms is like passing out just outside the M25 after my third pint of intravenous Snakebite and second gram of base amphetamine on the road with Lemmy and chums. Doubtless this would cause him to cry tears of laughter at my phony largesse into his bucket of Sex On The Beach, while the mole on his face throbs in tempo with his vital organs further devouring themselves.

I just cannot get up that hill. First crack on my road-bike, but even the lowest available gear had me giving up approaching 1/16 of the way up, which is a record of achievement unfortunately, rather than failure. Something to be proud of, that, scaling such fair heights. Midway up I paused to smoke the roll-up I’d planned on avoiding until reaching Melton to the Mowbray, as the wind battered my efforts at lighting the damn thing. Not far short of being sated and ready to push up the remainder, my eye was caught by a sight which grabbed my inverse-pride by its scrawny neck.

A couple were beginning the climb and had comfortably passed my point of departure. ‘Bloody EPO junkies’ I thought, as I dragged hard on my roll-up. I gripped it more tightly as my annoyance at their ease of progress grew. As they neared me I wasn’t sure whether my best course of action would be to ask who they score their gear off, put a stick in their spokes out of spite or put on my best ‘I’m doing laps of this hill and resting after several rounds’ pose. Instead I acknowledged their greetings which found no struggle in anything debased like breathlessness, as their mocking laughter followed them up and around the snaking, very steep summit.

I was not put on this earth to climb hills, or pair up my socks. Like a fraud though I pushed my bike up the remainder without removing my trip computer, which has played havoc with my final average speed. The rest of the ride continued without incident, so once there I treated myself to a bag of Cadbury’s buttons, the small ones as I like them best, a can of Coke and a Mars milk drink. I considered a Mars bar on top of that but feared the cashier might find me one dimensional and predictable, so I spoke backwards to impress her. As I replenished on a bench I noticed the offices of the Melton Times. Outside was an advertising board with today’s triumphant headline – ‘Media Scrum At Pie Awards’.

They think of nothing else there. ‘Give me a pie’. ‘Where’d you get that pie?’ ‘How much is that pie?’ ‘Got any steak and ale left?’ ‘This pastry’s soggy, so I must chin you’. This is my daughter, Pie’. So a few journalists had got all hot under the collar at the thought of spending some time in the presence of pies, lots of hot pies with various fillings too, until they fought like man-men with their cheap pens. This area doesn’t need minor celebrity or national news – they get by just grand with eating and judging pies. Maybe they’ve got the right idea, and the UN should introduce a peace-keeping pie envoy. Provincial journalists, form an orderly queue.

On the way back not much happened, although I topped out down that infernal hill at 41.9 mph. That’ll teach it.

Kent 1 last Sunday in unusually dry, sunny weather (nice move Jonny) and then this week, 45 sodden miles in and around Essex in driving rain. Loved every minute. Particularly being calf deep in flooded sunken lane sections, and following a car through a lake-sized puddle. I felt like Moses.
The fitness is returning... slowly.

went mountain biking in sitges, just outside of barcelona.
great sunshine, great scenery.
good trails and no-one about, some really enjoyable ups and downs

was on a borrowed 29er, a specialized full suspension jobby with one of the hydraulic seat posts - simply amazing bike.

i've not been mountain biking in about 15 years.
if i had any more time i'd love to do some more.

i'll add it to the very long list of things to do.

Swine repped (and invited on a low altitude roll).

went mountain biking in sitges, just outside of barcelona.
great sunshine, great scenery.
good trails and no-one about, some really enjoyable ups and downs

was on a borrowed 29er, a specialized full suspension jobby with one of the hydraulic seat posts - simply amazing bike.

i've not been mountain biking in about 15 years.
if i had any more time i'd love to do some more.

i'll add it to the very long list of things to do.

I keep trying to convince myself I'd like a mountain bike. There's a few places around here we can ride but I know it would probably only be used for rubbish weather (snow) commuting.

No weekend ride for me, spare some boring extended commuting to Redbridge. Miserable and wet.

Had a bit of work yesterday morning, and since the sun was due to shine I headed out towards Essex afterwards. Made a conscious decision the night before not to bother planning a route, or taking directions - something I've been meaning to do for a while, just to break the tedium of route planning. I hadn't been out to essex for a while, either...

It was a good decision, though. I pieced together various familliar bits, and was soon trundling through gently rolling countryside in glorious weekday (bonus) sunshine, with a gentle breeze in my face, surrounded by yellow rapeseed. The lanes were deadly quiet too. Had a great time forging through some flooded sections of road, as some others have mentioned above. The rest of the time, I was using the breeze to direct me and just burrowing into whichever lanes took my fancy.

The changeable breeze began to take its toll on the way back, as did the heat. I've gained a rather comical sunburn between rolled up sleeves and gloves. If I knew the area a bit better I could have tied in a slightly nicer route back, but I didn't really want to whip out the phone so took the boring way I know through Hainault.

No great wildlife spots, although I did hear a couple of woodpeckers. Packed in about 80 miles which isn't too bad for a working day. :)

Beautiful afternoon in SE London - so I gave myself permission to have the afternoon off and tootled into Kent. Similar ride to the one I did on Saturday, but just sooo much nicer in the sunshine - faster too...

http://app.strava.com/rides/7689791

I had been thinking about checking out some routes through St Mary Cray, but a fellow cyclist and Dad at my son's school warned me off. Apparently the last time he rode out that way some oik in a passing car leant out of the window and pushed him into the hedge - other of his friends have had similar experiences. That kind of thing scares the willies out of me - anyone here had bad experiences round that way?

Nice to be able to get a couple of cat 4 climbs into a sub 50 mile ride from home. Has anyone got any other loops in the vicinity of my ride that have good/challenging climbs?

Ben

If you don't stop setting us up for big climbs Benj I'm going to think twice about riding with you you masochist! Tackling them when they're there is one thing but lining the buggers up is a whole other kettle of crayfish. I'm getting too wheezy and too portly to be following your 'Nago up mountains!

A future of touring the Norfolk broads awaits me clearly.

The weather didn't look great for the weekend so I took off down round biggin hill on friday. Although the weather was great, the roads were still wet and there was a lot of mud and piles of grit on the road. I've been negleeting the bike somewhat and not only did the rear mech un-index it's self I also got a puncture. Still enjoyed myself though. Been riding round this area and further south towards sevenoaks recently and its been great, sadly I'm heading to oxford next week so it'll be the last time for a while.

http://connect.garmin.com/activity/172226176

If anyone has some gps routes around oxford I'd welcome them as I'm pretty unfamiliar with the area.

edit: how do I get the activity to embed? ah use the link not the garmin share function

Long time away from oxon/bucks but have a look at map and find Swanbourne tearooms near Aylesbury. Ride there and back you'll be right.
Heaven in a cake.

Been track racing tonight at Bomo.
Could be some hours of buzzing about it until I sleep :)

Snapped chain and a crash (neither me) on tonight's club ride. Shit went down. It must have been a tough one as my new chain has stretched 10mm.

new chain has stretched 10mm.

My cock is not even that long... you sure ?

Well it's new (less than 100 miles on it so far) and the wheel hasn't moved in the dropouts and I'm going to have to move the wheel easily 5mm back for reasonable tension.

:-/

If you don't stop setting us up for big climbs Benj I'm going to think twice about riding with you you masochist! Tackling them when they're there is one thing but lining the buggers up is a whole other kettle of crayfish. I'm getting too wheezy and too portly to be following your 'Nago up mountains!

A future of touring the Norfolk broads awaits me clearly.

Quit your mewling, yo. Yous pretty good up a slope. When's your b.day? I want to buy you a cassette that will allow you to climb without having to rip your handlebars off doing a slow-motion impression of Mark cavendish...

The route I have planned for this weekend has some lovely gentle rolling bits, spesh for you dude!

How was your camping trip? Damp I'd wager...

Wet.

Like my soft legs.

The past weekend I went on the longest bike ride I've ever done. Flew into Derry on Thursday night and starting cycling from Malin Head in Donegal on Friday morning to reach Mizen Head in Cork on Monday night. 680kms over the 4 days. Considering I had never cycled over 60kms in one go before this, it was a big achievement for me. Rode it on a Surly Crosscheck only having 1 puncture the whole way and now can't wait to start planning my next trip. Although I might wait for me knees to recover! Would thoroughly recommend the Malin to Mizen bike ride in Ireland to anyone

Good work!

went on a little excursion to dorking yesterday to do some hills. as soon as i stepped off the train, the heavens opened and chucked it down for about two hours before kindly letting off to just a normal level of rain.

planned on doing 60-70 miles but had to cut it short to 50 as i thought i was gonna perish if i stayed out any longer. went up box hill a couple of times (don't see what all the fuss is about) and white downs (a right monster), along with a few random others.

stupid weather (i'm never trusting either bbc weather or metcheck ever again) ruined it somewhat. when i say 'somewhat', i mean, 'completely' of course.

White downs looks fun. Will put that on a growing list.

White downs looks fun. Will put that on a growing list.

its a right fucker. couple of hairpins and a really steep (20% maybe?) ramp. if you're in the area, defintely do it

Highgate to Herne Hill. Not far and had to ride one handed most of the way but still I'm back on the bike.

Yeah google maps'd it. I'm south London, but going to ride down that way to scout the Olympic route for looking positions.

Short job for me today. Out of Sheffield via the Rivelin, over to Ladybower, down through Bamford and into Shatton for lunch. Down the Hope Valley to Hathersage and over the lumps to Grindleford. Up the long slow to Fox House and back into the city on Ecclesall Road. Not too bad on fixed as none of the descents were brakeworthy.

Yesterday I lead a few non-cycling friends out from London to Cambridge using this route: [ame]http://ridewithgps.com/routes/818725[/ame
[/ame] which I got off the forum somewhere.

Great route, nice quiet roads and great views, and perfectly manageable for my friends, who have even less cycling experience than me and were on heavy mountainbikes, so thanks for the route whoever uploaded it. Somehow even managed to completely avoid any rain too.

It was only my second proper trip, I've now gone to Brighton and Cambridge and really enjoyed both. I think I fancy going to the seaside again next time, maybe Clacton or Herne Bay unless anyone has any better ideas? 60 miles or so seems like a good distance that non-cyclists can manage, depending of course on hillyness.