2012-04-20/22 - Flanders shenaniganza

I can no view it :(

maybes now

Woot! Nice one.

looks great. how many miles have you done? when's the next one?

Tanya has the route logged onto the garmin

friday 20th april
bruges - knokke heist - bruges
approx 38km

saturday 21st april
bruges - tielt - oudenaarde - (koppenberg) - a few more cobble climbs - brakel
approx 91km

sunday 22nd april
brakel - geraardsbergen (muur) - bosberg - waarbeke - dendenwindeke - zandbergen - lierde - brakel
approx 60km

when's the next one?

next overseas trip is prosecco classico gran fondo in october only a couple of places remaining..

next year plans for:-

Ardennes 3 day spring outing..
(april/may might consider touring http://www.freewheelingfrance.com/247 and save money on van costs)

3 day clasica San Sebastian.. (in sep/oct after the vuelta espana possibly even go to Pamplona but avoiding the bullrun)

anyone fancy doing milan - san remo then fly back out of nice?

too busy now with work, olympic duties and family commitments.. sorry

more pictures though
http://www.facebook.com/media/set/?s...3&l=bad663f194

Thanks for the pics so far, they are great. My camera phone pics are crap. Christine will have some decent ones.

i am still laughing at some of brakers jokes stuck in my head.

**RIDE REPORT - Day 1
**
Oh hai.

7 a.m. the Euro-crew amass at St Pancras, minus Bernie and the vansters who have been drinking Schnapps out of the bottle since 5 and are now playing 10p slots on the ferry and have nearly won their weekend budget once over. Braker hasn’t been to bed since Wednesday because basically fuck that, he said.

Cava and orange juice are mixed and drank once on board the train. Soon, knowledge is shared. French trains are fast, Eurotunnel is engineering feat etc. but:

Fact: Lille is one of the largest sock producers in Western Europe due mainly to the large elasticene deposits which are extracted via fracking. Somehow the trampoline industry remains a minor player in the region.

Fact 2: Female ducks have eight vaginas. This allows them to deflect male frottage and to deploy only the ‘real fanny’ when they’ve found the male duck they prefer.

Euro-crew arrives in awful Brussell-Zuid and it’s pissing down. Euro-crew board the train to Bruges flawlessly and arrive in another, more hammering rainstorm. Meanwhile the van has been stopped for 3 hours on the French side for the border after Matt insults a Gendarme’s tracksuit. The van make up the time on the E40 but refuse to elaborate. There is a rumour Tanya drafted the van for 90 minutes in the big ring, but again, further elaboration is refused.

The reunion in Bruges is joyful despite the fact that now every object and its underside is completely soaked. Belgian beers are shared, a wised Tibetan man is paid-off to watch the bikes and we drink more beers (and eat). It continues to piss down with rain. A ride to the coast is proposed, which hangs in the air like fart in an elevator; sniffed distastefully then silently ignored. Proposed once more.

40 minutes later 11 riders depart for the coast in a heretofor uknown torrential rain, hail and rushing wind. Once at the beach (the sun is shining now that we’ve stopped riding) Bernie and Matt strip to James Brown’s Please Please Please and run into the North Sea to investigate. In the end, two of the floundering seals died, one was saved and one was killed for meat.

At a cafe, the grumpiest woman in Belgium serves us coffee.

An easy few miles back to Bruges and then a dip in the naturally occurring volcanic springs to cleanse the pores and we head off into town. First a couple jagerbombs to set the spirits high. 3 bottles of vodka, 46 beers and 8 kgs of mussels later and we hit the karaoke bar where Braker brings out cluster of jimson weed, which is nice but a bit pricey (he made us pay up front). Fortunately Almac had travelled in Mexico and Norwich extensively and so knew how to ‘backstop a ride’ as it were. Call it 1 a.m. and 60 euro lighter each we found ourselves back in the hotel bar, singing songs, talking about bikes and nary a memory of the assaulted Japanese tourists or the break-in at the local C&A. Off to bed, I look around at the empty tables at the bar and see only half a coconut, a stinky Campangnolo cap and a dirty playing card as evidence to what had happened. Bed.

At a cafe, the grumpiest woman in Belgium serves us coffee.

You forgot the bit where we asked her for pancakes and she threatened to call the police.

Thank you all for such a fantastic weekend - in the best possible way, it felt much longer than 2 and a half days. Even the lowest moment (being scoured by hail, by the side of a main road, in a thunder storm) wasn't that low, thanks to the brilliant company.

I have definitely learned to love - well at least, respect - the cobbled hill. I don't think any of us should feel too bad about not making it up the Koppenberg, though

http://www.lfgss.com/post2719908-1673.html

No cobbles, you say? Sold!

After what you've done this weekend, you'll ace this. Thought I might try it fixed this year - let me know when you want to knock out a few hill reps.

Thought i'd give you guys a sneak peek of one of my favourites, whilst i get round to uploading the rest...

This picture made me (and my team - sorry, I had to explain why I was looking a pictures of semi-naked hugging men online) so happy. Maybe we should post it every time the forum descends into general rage and angst, to remind everyone of the happiness that cycling can bring.

Thanks for the pics so far, they are great. My camera phone pics are crap. Christine will have some decent ones.

Post them anyway. The two tits, trying to be a bum, should be interesting on a big screen.

This picture made me (and my team - sorry, I had to explain why I was looking a pictures of semi-naked hugging men online) so happy. Maybe we should post it every time the forum descends into general rage and angst, to remind everyone of the happiness that cycling can bring.

Noooooo! The shame, the eternal shame...

Will we ever get over it? Probably.

Woot! Nice one.

@ Dan, what a brilliant write up.

Two minor corrections. Matt got into trouble as he was making fun of the Gendarme's truncheon, not his shell suit, and Super T was pushing the van, not giving us a lead out.

Otherwise, factually correct in every way, and worthy of an award winning News of the World journalist.

champagne breakfast for eight - £14
eurostar return to brussels - £81
three days on tour in flanders - priceless

@ Dan, what a brilliant write up..

This - when will Days 2 and 3 be realised? Can I bid for the rights to turn into a light hearted BBC sitcom?

Two minor corrections. Matt got into trouble as he was making fun of the Gendarme's truncheon, not his shell suit, and** Super T** was pushing the van, not giving us a lead out.

Super T? Love it. Totes perfect.

Otherwise, factually correct in every way, and worthy of an award winning News of the World journalist.

I'll try and finish the transcribing of the phone hacking I did on day 2 and 3 and get to Dan.

http://www.lfgss.com/thread83135-3.html#post2845684

Any interest in IOW Randonee over the bank holiday? I've done it a few times and it's awesome. There's one space available in our Tipi's and I may drive for convenience.

I would do but I'm a boring fuck. And on holiday.

I found you quite adventurous actually.

Aw shucks.

I read that entire IOW thread because the title interested me but I don't understand a word of its contents. Tipis? Ferries? Tickets? It's like it's all written in cypher.

Aw shucks.

"What goes on, on tour, stays on tour."

Just ask Al and Matt if you require clarification.

erm, that's right 'codes and rules of tour cycling'

#tapsnoses