Any question answered...

You will not die if you don't fit the circlip for a test ride.

I can see why you might think that.

However.

The split ring circlips used in the Campagnolo Ultra Torque cranksets were introduced after a series of high profile accidents during product testing involving Captain Scott 'Yoke Yoke' Fabbri of Campagnolo's Secret Testing and Development (or STD) department.

Whilst on an audax ride from Rome to Cairo in 1957, Fabbri lost control of his bicycle over the Mediterranean near Naples, his Ultra Torque's spontaneously bursting into white flames after he had spun out at high altitude.

Fabbri's frantic spinning had caused the grease in his bearings to overheat, and as split ring circlips had not been invented at the time, the vibration in the bearings produced a vibration at the exact resonant frequency of his bicycle frame, resulting in an almost instantaneous break up of his bicycle in mid-air. Miraculously, Fabbri survived after crash landing onto water and was rescued by a passing pirate ship.

Previously regarded as a landmark in crank design, the reputation of the Ultra Torque's had been damaged. Campagnolo set about redesigning the bearings, re-profiling the bearing races to avoid a repetition of the tremulous vibration which last time had been Fabbri's undoing. However, in doing so they removed metal from around the bearing races, leading to stress fractures in the aluminium. The first series of test rides were successful (including a sportive in Tristan da Cunha) but near the end of a routine training ride from Tblisi to Malaga, Fabbri's cranks shattered and fell apart in the small mountain town of Montealegre del Castillo.

During the resulting crash, the pieces of Fabbri's cranks were lost in the dirt. He was then was approached by a group of locals. Unable to convince them that he had cycled all the way from Georgia (partly because his bike had no cranks or pedals, partly because it really didn't seem that likely, frankly), Fabbri was accused of witchcraft and burnt at the stake.

Haunted by Fabbri's death, the STD team at Campagnolo were determined to discover what exactly had caused his untimely downfall. In testing they discovered that the combination of overheated grease and nothing to pin the bearings in place had caused the first accident, and the re-profiled prototype was, in fact, a step backwards. They developed a split ring circlip, known as a 'Fabbri pin', in the riders honour, and fitted it to all new Ultra Torque cranks.

Unfortunately by this point Shimano had learnt of Campagnolo's problems and checked their product range, modifying them where required to prevent similar issues. Shimano's cranksets came to dominate the market.

The Ultra Torque's are now widely regarded both as an adventurous step forward, and a supreme tragedy.

Despite the modifications, black market Ultra Torque's produced in the days before Fabbri's death still circulate, often cropping up on eBay, pedalled by unscrupulous sellers.

I believe Dammit has purchased one of these very same black market chainsets.

I tried to warn him, but he said I was a crank.