Football

I'm hoping for, and half expecting to be honest, a 21 man brawl (there's always one player who stays out of it) caused when Luis Suarez calls one of the Cardiff players "a fucking sheep shagging son of a whore*". In the resulting controversy, the Football League decide to declare the game null and void and no trophy is awarded.

*clearly in Uruguay this is an affectionate greeting

a fucking alpaca shagging son of a whore, I think you'll find is the correct greeting