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@MrDrem
So, I've just stumbled upon this thread, and thought that I'd throw my tuppence worth into the hat for you.
I ride to work daily. Fast, and as traffic. I've had a couple of coming together with cars/vans, but nothing serious so far. Do I put my wife off cycling? Not consciously, I try to encourage her to, but she won't, and an amount of that is down to how I cycle.
What would get her to cycle? Simple. Showers at work. Or near work, with safe bike parking.
Oh, and me buying her a better bike.