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@Wrongcog
Why not wait til you're stateside (no shipping obviously).
Read what Lazysuperhereo suggested up there ^^^^
Make sure you look for the right size - otherwise all that shininess is very pointless indeed. Basic beginner's check for that stuff is here: http://www.competitivecyclist.com/za/CCY?PAGE=FIT_CALCULATOR_INTRO
Check out the classifieds (good way of letting fate eliminate many of those confusing options for you).
Do a quick google of any bike and it's components that catches your eye in your price range - pony up on it a bit to see whether you're heading down the old Argos route again.
Ride it a lot until you identify problems or grow bored of it and change it up for something else.