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@dancing james
[ame]http://connect.garmin.com/activity/136374724[/ame]
This morning I woke in a strange bed, it was the first time I have ever stayed at my girlfriend’s mother’s house. Before any bizarre accusations are made I was in the girlfriend’s bed! Last night I had dozed off early, and was woken by Alex at ten minutes past midnight. Like many cyclists I am just a little child trapped in an adult body, so I promptly gave her one of her Xmas gifts with the not so cunning intent of getting one back from her. It took much badgering, faux sulking and petulance from me to elicit a return gift, but the exchange was fair. She got some Rapha women’s winter tights in an XS, so clearly fnck all use to me. I however got an item of desire, the Imperial Works knitted hat, so had gone to sleep knowing all was well in the world, though it had taken effort to overcome the childish impulse to go to sleep in the new hat.
Breakfast was light and continental, coffee and croissants, before getting on our bikes to ride the deserted streets of London. A bunch of friends from lfgss.com organise the Waifs and Strays ride.
http://www.lfgss.com/thread75313.html
I had previously participated in this a couple of years ago when I was in town tending for a dying friend and part of our cycling community. That time we had diverted the ride to see 50/14, as he was known, at Chelsea and Westminster hospital. It was slightly bittersweet to remember the last time I had ridden in this event, but many of the protagonists from 2 years ago were there, and it was wonderful and joyous to catch up with so many chums.
Lfgss is known as the friendliest/unfriendliest forum on the interwebz, a bizarre treasure chest of banter, knowledge, factual inaccuracies and sometimes caustic wit. We are like a drunken dysfunctional family, but today it was all about a gentle paced social around London.
To give a flavour of the participants, here was the list of intended riders for the day:
Not all made it, but not all who attended had actually signed up in advance. Most of our events are chaotic and ramshackle and this was no different.
Internet forums frequently end up with people adopting bizarre monikers and we follow suit. Object (we are never sure if this is a verb or a noun) organised the event – though this may be too strong a term, he suggested it, people turned up and we then set off on a not entirely pre determined route.
It was great to catch up with so many 2 wheeled friends. Jah Tim ever stylish and resplendent on the Rasta bike, Digger who must have sold his soul to the devil or be doing gods work as he has the gift of eternal youth, Hillbilly and MrsSocks, who met on the first Tweed Run and are now happily married, Cliveo – a long suffering riding partner (I am never sure if he suffers more from the rides or enduring me for hours on end), Mr and Mrs BikeWhisperer (Scherrit and Stiff Link), Bernie and Laner (these poor men had been cursed with my company on the Christmas Cracker), middleofnowhere who accompanied me for much of the Dunwich Dynamo this year, Alien on far too much bike for a simple ride, Aroogah (who had supplied the pheasant that was plucked yesterday), Julia, his partner aka LongandWinding, Dr Eyebrows, Malcolm Brave and his much faster other half Mrs Brave, Dapper Jonny and my 2nd favourite fat loudmouthed bald man with attitude (after myself) JD, Chainbreaker with his beach muscle arms and legs of spaghetti, flickwig and Trackend (as Paul used to call him), to name a few.
I am sorry to anyone I failed to highlight, there were so many I briefly chatted with over the course of the morning. In true forum style the ride started and stopped after a spectacular blow-out after a staggering 25m (metres, not miles) had been covered. It turned out that this was not the first of the punctures, Aroogah and L&W had 3 on the way in to town -the people of Ealing clearly had a smashing time last night. The blow-out went with a proper bang, and a 5 inch strip of inner tube was spat out from the wheel - methinks possible installation error had occurred. After the puncture was repaired we carried on our way, hip flasks were being shared and the law of the road was being flouted, but this was not just by the fixie skidder contingent. Car drivers this morning also seemed to be of the opinion that red lights were an optional instruction, not something that needed to be obeyed.
We meandered around town, to be honest I don’t recall much of the route just because it was such a social event. I spent too much time nattering, shouting abuse at friends and catching up with people to be focusing on where our motley peloton twisted and turned, we did see Hyde Park, Betty’s gaff, Parliament square and some of the West End. Today was not about the ride, more about the people and was delightful for it.
Missmouse is heavily involved in Southwark Cyclists who also had a ride taking place today, so when the fixwits went through Parliament Square we peeled off in order to head down South of the Thames. Those from this land of scant civilisation suggested coffee would be obtainable, but a scout around was unsuccessful. We did meet up with the valiant campaigners and pass on season’s greetings.
At this point the need for further caffeine and sustenance took over, so rather than follow another ride that was too gentle to keep us warm we headed towards Edgeware Road for lunch. It’s great not all of London follows Christian orthodoxy, and that we could have fantastic Lebanese food for our mid day repast –before lunch Alex had spied someone with Costa cup walking down Oxford St so we had stopped off for our caffeine top up.
After lunch we bloatedly rolled down Holland Park Avenue, by this point the winds had picked up and we found ourselves pushing against this far too soon after eating. Alex’s mum was waiting at our home, she had come over with Christmas gifts, and supplies to keep us stocked up. The rest of the day was taken up with a brief ride to Putney for a Christmas dinner with my sister. I will need to do a few more 500km weeks to burn off the after effects of my own bodyweight in turkey ‘n trimmings followed by the lunatic Blumenthal Popping Candy Chocolate Tart she had made. Am now sitting at home, feeling bloated and content.