Get Some F**king Lights

Why is your neck next to your shorts?

Very big shorts

giving your victims a fighting chance? that's very sporting of you.

I sound a horn before setting out as well- gives them a fighting chance

How much do your shorts weigh?

Good question, I had not thought to count that metric

Did you get the shorts off e-bay? Were they as described?

TK Maxx, as it happens. Not sure where you are coming from on the as described angle though.