Ways not to lock your bike

Here's how I usually lock my (*) aluminium hybrid, although it doesn't have fat tyres.

(*) Describe as you see fit

Here's how I usually lock my (*) aluminium hybrid, although it doesn't have fat tyres.

(*) Describe as you see fit

is that a particularly enormous lock? i've tried and not been able to fit my kryptonite new york like that, but then you've managed to do it with a bloody helmet, crank and pedal all in too, making a mockery of my locking efforts.

• bows to locking master -
  

Here's how I usually lock my (*) aluminium hybrid, although it doesn't have fat tyres.

(*) Describe as you see fit

Splendid.

So, Lemonade, do what Hatbeard suggests and lock the stays via spokes. Wheel cant come off without chopping it and rendering it useless.

yeah that's what i usually do if i can fit it, pleasing to know that it's ok not to have to get the rim in there as well. cheers for all the help guys and girls. altho i will continue to strive for rhowe's locking perfection.

Ed - did you go to America? I would never have known............................

Have some rep! Oh Ed.

is that a particularly enormous lock? i've tried and not been able to fit my kryptonite new york like that, but then you've managed to do it with a bloody helmet, crank and pedal all in too, making a mockery of my locking efforts.

• bows to locking master -
  
  

Hm, it's an Abus Granit-X 54 Plus, 23cm version.

Not especially huge but much bigger than a Fagh mini. It's much easier to lock like that if there isn't another bike on the stand.

I saw someone do exactly this a few months ago next to me as we were both locking up and said "Sorry to be rude but can I show you something?" and undid the quick release and un hooked the v brake in under 10 seconds, thakfully they took it the right way and were appreciative of the impromptu demo

I saw someone do exactly this a few months ago next to me as we were both locking up and said "Sorry to be rude but can I show you something?" and undid the quick release and un hooked the v brake in under 10 seconds, thakfully they took it the right way and were appreciative of the impromptu demo

what are you meant to do with a stand like that tho?! unless the others are empty and you can take up several at once by putting it sideways.

we have loads of stands like that at my uni and it's so annoying cos there's no way of locking properly to them

he could put it in rear wheel first and lock through the rear stays/wheel. the one pictured has a second lock to put round front/wheel and frame too.

still not the most secure but better than what they've done there.

Ways not to lock your helmet:

Saw a great one the other night but it was too dark to get a good photo. The person had 3 cable locks mounted on their bike but none actually attached to anything.

But they had a BIG old fashioned treasure chest style padlock locking bike chain (the drive chain) to the stand.

Was new bike too.

I think this one wins, it was left over night at the waterloo bike stand...

I think this one wins, it was left over night at the waterloo bike stand...

This guy here might actually be quite a genius. By locking his bicycle in such a manner of absurdity he may be deterring thieves by humouring them instead, encouraging them to leave the bicycle so that others can take pleasure in the viewing the owner's "supposed" incapability with intelligence. Very clever sir...

This morning I took the train into town (going out after work and travelling home with family afterwards) and I thought I was being ever so observant as I approached a purple pacific in the racks in the station that actually had no lock on it at all.

Then, without warning, there was an almighty clang and I came to a sudden and rather painful standstill. Because I'd been smugly looking forward to telling everyone here about this completely unlocked bike I'd spotted, I'd failed to notice I was heading straight for the big metal sign which tells people on trains which station they're at. The side of my head is still sore, and I am compelled to admit that I am impressed by the bike's owner's cunning plot to foil bike thieves by the careful placement of his or her bike near a large metal post.

@someone up there:

Yes, "n" shaped locking stands are called Sheffield stands.

As for when you need to use pure Sheldon locking (rim only), using a Krypto mini against a sign post (e.g. a parking times sign), it's not possible to get a tube in the lock as well.

what are you meant to do with a stand like that tho?! unless the others are empty and you can take up several at once by putting it sideways.

we have loads of stands like that at my uni and it's so annoying cos there's no way of locking properly to them

Lock it somewhere else

Lock it somewhere else

yeah i do lock it elsewhere, meaning a longer walk and also that ive got to lock it on a public street rather than in the uni, but it's just annoying that they've gone to the effort and cost of putting up a huge amount of completely useless cycle stands - why is there a whole industry producing insecure cycle security?

yeah i do lock it elsewhere, meaning a longer walk and also that ive got to lock it on a public street rather than in the uni, but it's just annoying that they've gone to the effort and cost of putting up a huge amount of completely useless cycle stands - why is there a whole industry producing insecure cycle security?

Because some people won't spend the money on good/secure cycle security.

Probably doesn't help that the people who authorize and buy them don't cycle themselves, and probably know nothing on locking safely. And to be fair to them if they don't know they'll take the sellers "100% theft proof" spiel to be true.

Edit - Spiel, reminds me of an favorite old joke of mine..

"Had a xylophone salesman round the other day, giving me the old glocken-spiel"

"We should offer cycle parking - it's a nice marketing point for the brochure"
gets quotes
chooses cheapest

^ needs this

and after the last day of working 14 days non-stop this was not what I wanted to find....

you leave your lights on?