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@shinkuu_kiss
I woke up this morning with my laptop next to my bed and had clearly been looking for this thread. It's probably just as well I didn't find it, I wouldn't have been able to type coherently. Anyway, first off I have to confess that usually I enjoy riding drunk, but usually I don't get all that drunk, just enough that I know it is unwise to be cycling but not really enough to get hurt unless I'm particularly stupid or unlucky.
Last night though I got very drunk, more drunk than I had intended to, and just could not stay on my bike - I was slightly lost and quite cold and every time I tried to figure out exactly where I was or ride faster to warm up I would somehow end up grinding along the kerb and falling off. Or every time I did a shoulder check, or looked at someone on the pavement, or tried to go round/over a speed bump. I probably fell off more times last night than I have in the rest of my life.
After a while a very kind man persuaded me to get off and walk, his argument being something along the lines of "Look mate, I just saw you fall over in the middle of the road for no reason at all, don't you think you should get off your bike?". I have no idea why I went down at that point, I just remember riding happily down the centre of a clear road then hitting the floor and shouting "Oh for fuck's sake" as I was getting annoyed at falling over so much. I walked for a bit and that cleared my head enough to get home without falling off again, although I think I went the wrong way down a couple of one way roads on the way.
Amazingly I managed to deal with junctions and traffic lights without incident despite being brakless, the only damage to my bike is mashed up bar end plugs, and I haven't lost anything or picked up any injuries I can't remember getting.
Anyway thank you kind man, I probably would have hurt myself more if not for you. I hope your kindness impressed the girl you were with. But no thanks to my friend who phoned to see if I was getting home OK, obviously I was going to fall off trying to answer, nothing you said really made sense, and it was dangerous talking to you while lying in the road.