You are reading a single comment by @Bobbo and its replies.
Click here to read the full conversation.
London Fixed Gear and Single-Speed is a community of predominantly fixed gear and single-speed cyclists in and around London, UK.
This site is supported almost exclusively by donations. Please consider donating a small amount regularly.
@Bobbo
For Sale:
Adamantium crankset. Interesting story this one; one day I was walking down the street when this Australian prick in a yellow bodysuit lept into my path and started shouting at me,
"I'm Wolverine cunt, I'm going to kill you then rape your lifeless eye sockets!"
Well that's not very nice I thought to myself I'd better do something about this before he hurts me or someone else. So I kicked him in the balls. Hard. When I did this two things happened first of all my foot really, really started hurting and then the man slumped on the floor groaning and holding his bruised nutsack, as most blokes would.
After a couple of minutes this wolverine chap gets up and knives suddenly appear out of his clenched fists. Scary. He started shouting at me again;
"Right you bastard, you've really pissed me off now, I'm going to bypass the killing and move strait to the anal fisting with my special adamantium fist claws"
While he was saying this I kicked him in the balls again, harder than I did the first time. This time as he slumped to the floor the Wolverine bloke snapped off his fist claw things. I grabbed them quickly and ran off to the nearest tube just as the train was pulling away from the station I saw this chap running down the platform after me and the train. Luckily he did not make it and I got away.
Anyway as I got away I notice how strong and light the metal I was holding was, I thought to myself "You know this metal would make an excellent component for my bike." So straight away I went to visit the best metal worker that I know, a guy called Hattori Hanzō, who lives in Okinawa (he also runs a jolly nice sushi restaurant in his spare time if you are ever in the area).
Hattori (or hatters as he's known to his friends) turned these evil weapons of death into a beautiful handmade crankset for my bike which I would now like to sell for £5. Unfortunately I can't provide pics as I am too poor to own a camera but if you don't like it you can get your money back (p.s. it definately is not a charge crankset that I have scratched "made from adamantium by Hattori Hanzō" into using my old drawing compass from my Oxford Geometry set, it is much more special than that)