Crap 'Buzzwords'

I think my main problem with all this stuff is that it seems like a commodification of words. The way they're packaged together and repeated. I dunno.

commodification

zing!

'zing'

anything American derived.

'zing'

Only slightly less annoying that 'buhzinga'

'the'

'Owning things' to mean doing things.

"We need to be owning April Fools day this year"
"Someone needs to lay out this presentation, can you own that?"
"That curry stand is totally owning market food lunch at the moment"

'Going forward' as a completely pointless pre-fix/suffix to a sentence.

"What's the roadmap for the marketing strategy piece going forward?"
"So lets talk about your brand positioning going forward"
"We need to be looking at our lunch options going forward"

The word 'piece' to mean thing, or stuff

"There's a whole communication piece around this"
"Oh yeah there was a piece last year about our brand equity..."
"Yes and that comes back to the lunch piece we were talking about yesterday"

Taking things 'offline' to mean 'let's talk about it after the meeting'.

"Let's take this conversation offline"
"We're getting distracted now, let's go offline with this one and discuss it over lunch"

• 'Bandwidth' to mean 'how busy I am'*
  
  

"I don't have the bandwidth at the moment for something like that"
"He told me he didn't have the bandwidth to help me with my powerpoint then the bastard went straight off to lunch!"

And I'm going to echo 'parking' things. As much as it makes a lot of sense, it's still annoying.

"Let's park that until after lunch"

Getting *traction, *reference to getting people to take on your ideas

Only slightly less annoying that 'buhzinga'

'the'

'than'

NOT a buzzword (so chill out, helmets) but I'm really sick of hearing the word 'regarding' in the workplace.

surely you mean re:

'Facebook me.....'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

'Facebook me.....'

>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>

Just another example similar to "Hoover the carpet" , "photoshopped" etc

NOT a buzzword (so chill out, helmets) but I'm really sick of hearing the word 'regarding' in the workplace.

Slightly related but a chap I used to work with phoned up a company like so.

"Hello I'm phoning up on behalf of the tyres I ordered?"

^ amazing!

When a senior colleague says

what's the proposition?

Or even worse

I just don't think this is a consumer proposition

Get to fuck.

Daveypants - the worst of the lot is piece.

arts based MA degree

Is this a buzz phrase? I don't find it meaningful.

I might have said this before, but "mouthfeel" can get fucked. Do the marketing dickheads think people are too stupid to understand what "texture" means?

And to all the photographers out there "bokeh". Stop saying it.

Instead of saying that someones work misses the mark, or needs improvment one of my directors says...
"this is not 'what good looks like'"

It has gone on to be used thus;
"now go away and draft something for me, and let's see 'what good looks like'"

And even worse, in emails it has been fucking abbreviated!
"this really isn't WGLL"

Just reply "Good is the enemy of Great".

"Get to fuck"

"Get to fuck"

I toyed mentally with whether this would attract due opprobrium before posting. Glad to see it has.

I work with a tool who writes meaningless affirmations on a whiteboard every know and then. His last one was 'Procrastination is the enemy of opportunity' which is ironic because all he does all day is sit on the Interwebz and occasionally teflon stuff onto other people and blame who ever isn't in the room for anything that goes wrong - dick

"inbox me"

keep that shit up and I'll mail bomb you!