To the gentleman (ridiculous faux fixie) idiot astride the grey Falcon last night, pootling eastward on Old Street.....
Sir, I have never seen such an idiot on our fair London streets. Permit me to congratulate you on your elegant and elaborate get-up, which seemed to be a ruse to con people into thinking that you are "cool". Sir, are not cool, nor could ever be cool. Before being cool, one must make every effort to not appear stupid, retarded, bereft of all sense at all.
DO fit a rear brake, since you were riding singlespeed and not fixed.
DO employ a system for foot-retention, since naked pedals will see you soon arse-over-tit.
Do use a U-lock of at the very, very, very least, 13mm thickness, insead of that most incredibly pathetic WHITE CABLE LOCK, that you had on proud display at the back of your rucksack.
If you wondered who the fatty that passed you at Old Street roundabout, and looked at you pointed and said *FAIL*, that was me. Get a grip mate. You are almost an accident waiting to happen, and I mean that in every sense.
Good luck Mr.Pretend-to-be-a-fixie-rider. You'll need it. Oh yes,and don't come bleating on here about how someone stole your precious bike, because with that lock, you can't possibly care that much about your bike at all. Have a great day.
To the gentleman (ridiculous faux fixie) idiot astride the grey Falcon last night, pootling eastward on Old Street.....
Sir, I have never seen such an idiot on our fair London streets. Permit me to congratulate you on your elegant and elaborate get-up, which seemed to be a ruse to con people into thinking that you are "cool". Sir, are not cool, nor could ever be cool. Before being cool, one must make every effort to not appear stupid, retarded, bereft of all sense at all.
DO fit a rear brake, since you were riding singlespeed and not fixed.
DO employ a system for foot-retention, since naked pedals will see you soon arse-over-tit.
Do use a U-lock of at the very, very, very least, 13mm thickness, insead of that most incredibly pathetic WHITE CABLE LOCK, that you had on proud display at the back of your rucksack.
If you wondered who the fatty that passed you at Old Street roundabout, and looked at you pointed and said *FAIL*, that was me. Get a grip mate. You are almost an accident waiting to happen, and I mean that in every sense.
Good luck Mr.Pretend-to-be-a-fixie-rider. You'll need it. Oh yes,and don't come bleating on here about how someone stole your precious bike, because with that lock, you can't possibly care that much about your bike at all. Have a great day.
[rant]