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@Ndeipi
Oh Shit #1
I occasionally ride with my university's triathlon society and I finally managed to negotiate a spot in the fast group. I had the oldest bike by probably 20 years, a nice old 531. Everyone else rode carbon and had massive thighs, but I wanted to show I could keep up. About 15 seconds after setting off we started to descend a hill, and I was near the front of the group doing ~20mph. 100m before the first bend I tried to think about good cornering poise, but then managed to kick my crappy old Zefal pump off my seat tube and into the gap between my bottom bracket cluster and my chainset, where it lodged itself firmly. This still baffles me. I tried to pull it up out of the gap, but only succeeded in grabbing and extending the pump handle. I was weaving around at over 20mph, trying to inflate my chainset. Brilliant. I then had a bit of a wobble, tried to correct it one handed and I managed to stay upright. But I lost control and flew straight up a curb, over some grass and ploughed into a 2 foot high garden wall. The bike stopped dead and I somersaulted over the top, and collided with a parked car in some chap's front driveway. I was fine but the bike was trashed. I apologised to the chap in the driveway, accepted my shame and walked home.
Oh Shit #2
There are some lovely rolling hills near Meriden, Coventry. As I ascended a hill on a fairly busy B-road, I had cars overtaking me very regularly. No worries until I approach the top where the narrow road bends sharply to the left, forming the blindest of blind corners with tall thick trees on both sides.
So cue the inevitable. As I reach this blind corner the torrent of overtaking cars doesn't cease, and I have a grey saloon pulled up level with me on my right. We both crest and spot the oncoming Ocado van at the same time, creating a shared "Oh shit!" moment. This van was only a few seconds away from a head-on collision with the saloon at about 45mph. I was instilled with a sort of wide-eyed terror of impending death. The saloon at this point had no choice but to floor it and swerve across me back into lane. I leaned my body into the bushes on my left, gripped hard and prayed. I believed I'd soon be flying through the air to meet the tarmac. With much beeping of horns and whooshing of air, all three parties somehow emerged unscathed, except for some scratches on my left arm. I had no trouble for the next few hills, as I had a healthy dose of adrenaline.