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@handtightenonly
Dear Eamonn,
For many years you have blighted our television screens and whilst I have the choice to change channels, I'm still of the opinion that you believe the world gives a shit about what you have to say. You offer nothing whatsoever to the world of entertainment or whatever it is you actually do and your very appearance is so painfully offensive it actually makes me feel physically sick.
At least the people you've chosen to tweet about have the ability to actually ride a bicycle as opposed to yourself. You Sir, are a man whose arse cheeks are in two different timezones. You are the man who won't consider eating a Krispy Kreme donut unless there's an opportunity to consume the contents of the entire outlet selling them.
Your choice of football team offends me endlessly and your sycophantic gushings are an embarrassment to witness.
In closing Mr Holmes, I would like to also add that my Father and his compatriots all refer to you as "thrush" because you're an irritating cunt.
Warm regards,
bodieanddoyle.