Weight / Fat loss

You see this is the thing that confuses the fuck out of me:

[INDENT]- If I exercise (cycling, climbing, running, push/sit ups, dips) how can I not put on muscle?[/INDENT]

Aerobic exercise doesn't help much to build muscle. It depletes your calorie reserves and it will improve muscle efficiency and tone, but it will usually actually deplete muscle if you are at a calorie deficit, as in the short term it can be easier for your body to consume muscle tissue to reclaim energy than to recover it from fat (which is long term storage). Resistance exercise (weights, resistance machines) builds muscle, but that also requires sufficient nutritional input (and the right ingredients). Aerobic exercise can disrupt muscle building by disrupting the resting/recovery time after strength-building exercise. Also, fat is an essential ingredient in tissue growth, so a low fat diet can make it hard to build strength.

[INDENT]- If I eat less calories than I use, how can I not *visibly *lose weight?[/INDENT]

The two most common causes for this are incorrect calculations and an inaccurate perception of how much you are actually eating (most people filter out snacks from their perception).

So my logic, based on the fact that I have a fair bit of muscle under my podgy belly and love handles, is...

• if I slash my food intake (especially shit food),
  
• don't drink for a bit, and
  
• actually start doing all those exercises almost every day for a decent period, as opposed to sporadically like now...
  
  

...then when I go to the beach I won't have to buy new board shorts and will be able to breath out.

Am I missing something?

Cutting out shit food is good. Slashing... well, I'm against crash diets but you may or not be eating more than you realise, so you do need to do some clear homework on that and some reasonably accurate calorie counting. Exercising every day, yes, very good. It will become easier with time, and may even become fun.

Do you have a Wii? Wii Fit is a very clever game (with some quite fun mini games inside it), because it uses the traditional computer game lures of reward and progression.