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@Brun
Ok, enough with the suspense.
So after a massive double-take before I realised it was mine, I quickly hopped onto the bike to give chase. I'd hardly turned the cranks when the guy stopped, got off the bike and propped it up outside the video games shop next door to work - if I'd have been sixty seconds later out the door I might've almost literally walked into it.
Politely said "Excuse me, that's my bike", but my attempts to explain the situation weren't helped much by the fact that he was Spanish and didn't really understand what I was talking about. Told me that his uncle had bought it for him 'from a market' and owned a restaurant up the road. By this point a mate had come out of work, so the three of us walked up to what turned out to be Navarro's on Charlotte St. The uncle wasn't around but his daughter came outside and I explained the whole thing, her telling me that it had been bought from Whitechapel Market (which is Brick Lane, right?) Anyway, I'd pointed out the police marking on the frame, and she asked what I wanted to do next. Said I wasn't going anywhere without it and was prepared to phone the police, and she just shrugged and told me I could take it. I did point out that her dad was pretty naive to be buying a bike like that, and hoped she doesn't get in the shit from letting me take it back so easily.
My mate did point out that considering it was so close to where I lost it, and their lack of resistance in letting me have it back suggested that the buying it from a market might've been bullshit. I thought they seemed honest enough but all things considered, I couldn't really give a shit.
Bike is in pretty much exactly the same condition as when I lost it. No components swapped at all, he was riding on the SPDs with trainers. Someone has had a proper go at shifting the completely stuck seatpost, which looks like it's been on the receiving end of some vice jaws, and tilted the saddle down when they couldn't shift it. Pity they didn't replace the headset, which I suspect is a bit fucked.
I am one lucky bastard.