Football

Ain't gonna happen any time soon. Footballers are thick, abusive yobs who only care about their paychecks. The behaviour on show week in week out will tell you that it wouldn't work.

Players, fans, clubs and the national football federations need to start making some noise if they want change. FIFA has never been weaker and now is probably the best time to push for goalline technology, video replays and sin binning cheats, frauds, yobs and cereal divers.

Has Didier been paid that much money that he can enter his cornflake-filled swimming pool after performing a pike?