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@the_lush
Right, back online. The rocking is ultra-minute and you have to put a fuck load of effort into it, as you tend to do when something puzzles you. I emailed Planet X and they suggested simply using hairspray and, you've guessed it, no rocking and no slippage. Time will tell if this is a lasting fix and I'm saving the email for any warranty issues later on.
For now though, thanks for the replies and offers of smearing my post, I may return to take you up on it.
Oh yeah, bloody good guess at 9Nm for the seat post clamp