Where can I put my money that won't make me angry?

What's the long term return for wines? How is it tracked? How does past price performance relate to future price performance? Will by bottle of Blue Nun be worth keeping or selling?

Blue Nun is not fine wine no matter how long you leave it. Fine paintstripper, perhaps.

Actually fine paintstripper could be a go-er, too. We could open a shop in North London somewhere catering to the upmarket DIY crowd.