• I generally wait in queues of traffic now, primary(ish) position. An example is Clerkenwell Rd, heading east, waiting at the Farringdon Road lights. 99.9% of other riders will filter down the left in a desperate bid to be at the front. What's the fucking point?

    Usual outcome: a couple of mind-bendingly slow riders with fuck-all riding skill are at the front of the bike queue (more of a gaggle), and people start doing insane evasive manoeuvres to get around them, without looking or signalling to the traffic behind. I'm part of that traffic behind, know what to expect, get in the middle of the lane, and calmly follow the rest of the traffic I've queued behind, passing the majority of knobends who had to get to the front.

    Once again. What is the fucking point? Why do it if you're not 100% confident of accelerating away from the lights faster than any of the other must-get-to-the-front riders, which means you've been using some sick observation skills in the stretch of road preceding the lights.

    And whilst we're talking about undertaking, don't expect me to shift my line outwards if you've got the gall/disrespect to pass me on my left. I'm not going to punch you or push you, but I'm not going to fucking move. If I have to lean on you, and you crash, fucking good, you idiots.

    ^ Tell it like it is sister.

    Oh, I, on the other hand, will push you. Right in your red, panting, inept fucking face. I only choose to do this because pissing on you is quite tricky whilst clipped in.

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