A death in the family

last summer i dedicated my first major climb of the fireflies tour 'col du columbiere' for a close friend and her family.. a short text to say that i was thinking about them all, that day.. it always means alot to a family just a thought like that. Laureen Campbell battled for four years with cancer, absolutely devastating, she died two years ago.

I plan to do the same for Helen Dudley this year breast cancer survivor then bone cancer victim another heartbreaking story, who left a baby girl behind.

both women shown such bravery, gone but not forgotten..
you and your family are in our thoughts and prayers this week Gerald..

Al x

Oh God, Gerald, I've only just seen this. I'm so sorry about your loss. Hearing about your dad explains a lot about you, an absolute class act. No-one will ever fill this void that your dad left except you. Give our warmest regards to your family. All the very best and I hope to see you soon!

The cross looks great, Digs... Hope the day hasn't been too harrowing, Gerald... Lemme know if you wanna sink a coupla shandies over the weekend, I'm around... x

Ample pause for thought, this thread. A very touching act you've done there Digger, good on you.

I just wrote quite an expansive message but then my latop died...

Long of the short, I had a pretty similar thing happen with me with my dad 5 years ago in 2 weeks time, I am a bit younger than you so this might sound strange, but if you did need anyone to talk to, or any advice and stuff then I thought I would extend myself.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Gerald. love to you; hug your mom she's going to need it.
This whole thread has had me in tears.
I m so sorry for your loss.

Digger - thanks for the pictures. You're a good man.

hope the day went really well, gerald, thinking of you.
well done digger

I can really relate to this coppithat, my dad was born in 1927. He is not dead yet, but has gone blind, can barely walk and recently had a stroke which effected his mind a fair bit.

I have been slowly going through a mourning process of losing a father for some time, he is the "last" of his generation from all of my relatives and represents a whole era of people who arrived here in the 1950's and were born in British colonies before them came independent. Impeccable manners/softly spoken (product of empire), super sharply dressed being the backbone of industrial british towns. Im usually extremely emotionally detached from it all, but thinking about your situation has brought it all home. Im bloody welling up. Its been a real privelage to have a father like this, I only wish he decided to have kids younger as I dont feel I had enough time to appreciate him as the great man he was/share my life rather than just be looking after a confused incapacitated old person.

I know the "time" will come soon when he is gone, but I cannot face thinking about it/researching what to do when it does. Ill just be left dumbfounded & confused, rushing to sort it all out. I can imagine that the emotion of it all wouldn't catch up till a while later.

I dont know what you chose to arrange. But I know that my dad will definetely be buried, I think most people of that generation would want to be, plus I think its important in terms of social history.

-edit- just seen pics. Looks like it was a great ceremony, lots of people "very warm" .

Gerald, your dad would be so proud of you. You're in my thoughts old bean.
Digger, Nice work.

seeing your pictures, has brought back a few memories and tears
a monumental effort, best wishes to your family also Gerald.
Digger you are superb..
Al x

thank you so much digger, my mum , sisters, brother , aunts and uncles all loved the cross.

the whole day went incredibly smoothly and on time. the service was remarkable. there was so much love and joy in the church it was hard not to smile and be happy. the main chapel was filled, also the balcony and then the small chapel at the back that had the service being shown on a large screen. there were between 350 and 400 people there to see dad off. mum and i were at the front singing , clapping and acting out the words to the chorus of one of her favourite songs. at first it felt strange but seeing the smile on my mums face when i was copying her was enough for me to continue and as i did that she became more animated and her smile grew bigger, i will never forget that. (note pentecostal church - loads of singing, clapping and occasional cries of halleluejah)
the choir was brilliant and the band top notch. i gave my tribute and i think there was more laughing and cheering than crying. it really was something to behold.
the burial at grove park cenetery was lovely, no rain and only a couple of clouds in the sky. my nephews, my brother, a few of my fathers church brothers and myself all filled the grave while more songs were being sung. i took the occasional break to take some pictures. the reception/feast was held in jk banquets, perry vale , forest hill the caterers from the church cooked all the food and put on a lovely spread that helped to wipe away many tears. soup, curried goat, jerk chicken, fried chicken, rice and peas, plain rice , curried vegetables, salt fish, plantain i think there was everything and more. dad would had had a big plate full with everything on it. as usual he would have eaten super slowly and saved a bit at the end to eat as a midnight snack.
on an emotional scale with harrowing being at one end and joyous being at the other the whole day was in my opinion 25% away from joyous. it would have been hard to walk away from the service and not think,
"you know what, life is for living, being nice and doing good when you can"
the whole day and these pictures serve as a testament to how much dad was loved and the amount we can do for others in this short time that we are here.

thanks also for taking the pictures digger, they look really good.

dfp be sure to get as much quality time with your father as possible. you should decide how you judge what we call quality time. tell him you love him.

this is the chorus i was singing and joking with mum , it was almost as though we were doing the birdie song :-)

It soon be done, all the troubles and trials
When I get home on the other side
I'm gonna shake my hands with the elders
I'm gonna tell all the people good morning
I'm gonna. sit down beside my Jesus
I'm gonna sit down and rest a little while

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only just heard about this - big love and hugs gerald, and glad you're dad got such a great send off. xx

Sounds like a beautiful send off G. x

Gerald introduced me to the forum and this thread really shows what great thing it is...Not just a place for bike chat but true friendship. Glad to be involved and looking forward to the ride to Cambridge on the 3rd. Thanks Gerald! The photos are really nice, love the hat!

Bless you Gerald. My condolences to you all.

cheers skully. it was a beautiful day that hopefully touched lots of people and made them reflect on relationships they have with people dear to them. i feel very lucky to have had dad as my dad and even luckier that i had time to realise and show him that i appreciated him and everything that he did for us.

Well a friend of mine is dying. I'm closer to his elder brother. When we were in our late teens theirs was the family home we all gravitated to. His Mum was always like a surrogate to me when I was a young'n.

Last year as they all gathered for one of their epic family weekends a tragic accident befell their Dad and he was killed. No one has really recovered from that yet and now cancer is taking the middle sibling in his early thirties.

I'm only writing this to process it really. It makes so little sense that just typing the facts is quite cathartic. I'm numb. How does that family process this? How does his Mum endure this continued onslaught on the only things she ever actually held dear? And what of my friend's wife whose speech at the Father's funeral was a touching promise to start a family and raise it with the same dynamism and generosity as her father in law? What of his older brother, my good pal - a scientist and a guarder of emotions. Will his brain fold under the weight of it? What of his younger sister who has always looked up to these warm, intelligent, energetic, strong men in her family and will have lost two in such short succession?

I'm aware that we are lucky enough to live in a corner of the world where this type of luck isn't a fact of life. We generally expect to live long and prosper. But My friend's family is being taken the piss out of badly and I can't think of a group of people who deserve it less.

Not a sympathy post. Just a rant really - and I clearly needed it as I am now realising the gravitas of it all.

Life!

Moving post wrongcog. You're right about the expectation to live long and well in our society yet we can never really escape the fact that we and "everyone we know goes away in the end"

Life may have good bits and will always have painful ones. I wish you and your friend many good ones

Thank you SD.