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@cliveo
I am very sorry to hear your news.
EEI's link is a useful one. In resp[onse to the particular questions:
is there a wrong or right way to feel?
You feel how you must feel. Sadness, anger, whatever. It is important to feel and not to hide your feelings.
how do you plan a funeral?
Speak to the funeral directors. They have plenty of experience. They will help you through this. If the person was religious, the vicar or whoever will be able and happy to help.
how do you budget?
The funeral is usually paid for from the estate and the cost deductible against death duties. Again the funeral director will help. Don't splash out extravagently. If the person was religious speak to the priest/vicar/rabbi etc. They will be very helpful and have plenty of experience.
who has to be notified?
Immediate family; close friends. Put a death notice in local or national papers as appropriate. Past (or present) employer. Again, funeral director could give advice. If the person was a member of anything, tell them. They can spread the word.
burial or cremation?
Cremation unless there is a particular reason not to (family tradition or religious)