A death in the family

My condolences, Gerald.

I hope to catch up with you soon or later.

I don't have any personal experience in the UK, so don't be offended I pointed you out to the government's website:
http://www.direct.gov.uk/en/Governmentcitizensandrights/Death/WhatToDoAfterADeath/index.htm

Hi Gerald,

Your dad looks and sounds a lovely guy. I lost my mum this time last year and as Dan above says I thinks it's even harder now to deal with. At the time, with the help of the hospice, funeral director and my mum's local priest, I managed to put together a good send off for her. After that, as executor to her will, I sorted out probate etc. If you need know any specifics PM me and I'll help you as much as possible.

steve

A very dapper chap. now it all makes sense Gerald.

Refreshingly honest and true, you carry on like this and we will be coming to you, as for the first questions, going through those yourself is both an escape and cathartic act. as routine and formal as those questions sound there is a surprising amount you get from the people you have to deal with.

You have enough good people here to talk to, if you want a change of topic to freshen the air i'll take you out to Westfields for a refit, Next have a sale on...

warmest regards. our thoughts are with you and yours man X

I am very sorry to hear your news.

EEI's link is a useful one. In resp[onse to the particular questions:

is there a wrong or right way to feel?

You feel how you must feel. Sadness, anger, whatever. It is important to feel and not to hide your feelings.

how do you plan a funeral?

Speak to the funeral directors. They have plenty of experience. They will help you through this. If the person was religious, the vicar or whoever will be able and happy to help.

how do you budget?

The funeral is usually paid for from the estate and the cost deductible against death duties. Again the funeral director will help. Don't splash out extravagently. If the person was religious speak to the priest/vicar/rabbi etc. They will be very helpful and have plenty of experience.

who has to be notified?

Immediate family; close friends. Put a death notice in local or national papers as appropriate. Past (or present) employer. Again, funeral director could give advice. If the person was a member of anything, tell them. They can spread the word.

burial or cremation?

Cremation unless there is a particular reason not to (family tradition or religious)

Thinking of you, and your family, Gerald.

X Fenella

Gerald
Beautiful words. There's no right and wrongs with feelings and emotions.

Thoughts are with you and yours.

D

Sorry to hear this sad news, Gerald. Your dad would be proud of your eloquence.

My thoughts are with you and your family.

sorry gerald. you know where i am.

x

So sorry to hear about your dad, Gerald... Thinking about you and your family... x

Echoing the kind words of everyone above.

lovely words Gerald which moved me and reminded me of sitting with my mum as she died with my dad and siblings. Nothing will ever change the love and appreciation that you have for the old man and your memories of him will live with you always. He is part of you and sharing your feelings about him with others here and with other friends will help ease you through the sad loss.
My thoughts are with you mate.

I don't think I can add anything to what has already been said on here.

Sorry for your loss Gerald, much love X

Take care Gerald. x

Heartfelt condolences to you and your family Gerald. X

It takes a lot to open up like that. Condolences to you and your family.
Peace and love x

My thoughts are with you and yours.

RIP.

thinking of you and your mum and family

x

So sorry to hear this Gerald, we're all here for you if/when you need us.

All the best dude.

hi coppi that, as Dan said earlier register the death and get 6-7 copies of the death certificate.The funeral director will do most of the arrangements for you but will want to know certain things.if you are a member of a church in your local area, if not they will be able to find a minister to conduct the service(usually an on call minister, but he or she would be any denomination), or would be able to arrange a humanist(non secular minister).they will ask if you want to order your own flowers,or would prefer them to do it for you, how many cars you would need to transport immediate family(you can go in your own cars if you want), hell also ask if you want a death notice in the local paper, and will give you a hand with wording, but maybe rough idea beforehand.... thas lots of stuff to cover.if you need any advice pm me....sorry for your loss,i know how hard it can be

Beautiful words. Gave me cause to reflect and think about my parents.
Thank you.

Peace.

Very moving words, I'm very sorry for your loss. I can see where you get your good looks from.

lil x

Sorry to hear of your loss.

Gerald, I hope you and your family are coping. In answer to your questions there are no right or wrong ways to respond to the emotions that come after such a great loss. Just roll with it as best you can as your own feelings unfold over the coming weeks/months. As Clive has pointed out the funeral directors are a great source of knowledge and should be able to help well with arrangements. I'm so sorry for your loss, peace to you.

Terribly sad news Gerald, very sorry for your loss. Let us know if you need anything.

Very sad news, as Chris said let us know if we can be of any help.
Loic