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@JonoMarshall
Whether the players are winging (or not) should have no impact on the referee's calls.
The ref should read the rules and interpret them to the best of their ability and then call out those that break them.
Arguing over "light touch" or "heavy handed" reffing should instead be an argument about the rules themselves surely?
I like to make the players aware of the ref by stating "that's ok" on most contact, or "out of the way" on foot downs, or regular announcements of the time/score, etc... without that I found it hard to issue tap-outs, etc, as you were largely ignored (I'd argue a "light touch" ref is an ignored/rubbish ref).
I also hate to stop the game and issue a ball turnover and usually make the players aware of this pre-game so we're all on the same page of encouraging a "clean" game ("don't make me blow the whistle", etc)... I'd rather be watching an awesome game of polo than enforcing a dirty one, I'm sure most refs feel the same?