Bike Anti-Porn - When Things Go Wrong

Shit, its clearly time to add bits of plastic to the chains of our bikes for no functional reason.

Why? - Oh, it looks cool!

Ok, this is Anti-Porn and anti it is. But no functional reason? I'd say it keeps a lot of grit from the chain, partly substitutes a Dutch-style full chain casing, but is much less problematic (and DIY, so cheaper).

Ok, this is Anti-Porn and anti it is. But no functional reason? I'd say it keeps a lot of grit from the chain, partly substitutes a Dutch-style full chain casing, but is much less problematic (and DIY, so cheaper).

It will also keep a whole load of gunk on your chain that could be washed off by the rain. So fails the functional test and looks shite. Its really a way to add further colour coordination to help with the HHSB aesthetic.

It looks to enclose the chain except for a strip on the 'inside', and since most crap enters the chain from the underside (which is the totally enclosed side) I imagine it works fairly well.

Plus stops your trousers from getting oily, which is useful for people that won't wanna roll up their trouser leg all the time. You could just use a normal chainguard, but this is much cheaper, easier and lighter.

I might experiment with this actually, and report back in six months to see how well it works. I'd use black conduit for stealth.

i only saw someone with this done on a folder the other day and thought it was some weird sort of belt drive thing.

Oh dear....

Edit

Kinda pre-emptive for when it ends up on some hipsters create..

Its not a new idea, If was 8 i'd be all over that

Have one on my TT bike. It's a roaring success.

It will also keep a whole load of gunk on your chain that could be washed off by the rain. So fails the functional test and looks shite. Its really a way to add further colour coordination to help with the HHSB aesthetic.

maybe in london,
for some reason i'm assumeing the guy in the video lives somewhere hot like california or whatever

never rains, no gunk

still i won't do that to my bike,

http://vimeo.com/5116465

This came out as a kids BMX fad in the 1980's.

It looks to enclose the chain except for a strip on the 'inside', and since most crap enters the chain from the underside (which is the totally enclosed side) I imagine it works fairly well.

Nope. Unless you remove it every evening. Its gonna prevent your chain from drying out, and will give it serious metal rot. Bye bye chain.

Plus stops your trousers from getting oily, which is useful for people that won't wanna roll up their trouser leg all the time. You could just use a normal chainguard, but this is much cheaper, easier and lighter.

Apart from the issue mentioned above. From a commuter/ hipster point of view, its a clever idea.

Ah, I hadn't thought of the drainage in the lower field issue.

I can't think of a material that would be breathable enough, or a breathable design that would still enclose the chain well... which is a shame.

Ah, I hadn't thought of the drainage in the lower field issue.

I can't think of a material that would be breathable enough, or a breathable design that would still enclose the chain well... which is a shame.

Something with loads of small holes wont protect the chain. But then none of my bikes have chain protectors and they still work. It would still keep oil and shite off your trousers though (providing you take it off to oil your chain and whipe off excess).

Definitely doable.

So gutted that I found this in the 2011 Passoni catalogue.

what the fuck? so they are actually selling it with different wheels, let alone the shit gear and the gay stem and handlebar combo. Lame.

According to the spec. it got some Brick Lane Bikes part.

must be trying to look more "authentic" with odd wheels, now they just need some fake paint chips around the steer tube so it looks like a courier owns it

With matching wheels, its a winner.

Levis bike!

good god

You'd get some serious chafing from that saddle

That is such a terrible idea...

Its funny how these big companies jumping on the fixy bandwagon 5 years late dont realise that a lot of the characteristic fixy clichés like bullhorns/drops with only a flat bar brake lever, mismatching wheels etc are just cheap/workarounds/compromises and nothing to do with the "TaRck" "tRix" or "HHSB" looks fixy fashonistas are trying to achieve.

how long until Louis Vitton releases a carbon-fibre polo bike, with swarovski crystal spoke covers?

that saddle is fucking horrendous