Any question answered...

I don't know if this has been answered yet or not but there is an App called My Tracks. I think every GPS will do some of what you don't want but this will at least record what you've done. And I think it analyzes it all, too.

^I got my dad an old Garmin 205 for this purpose, cost me ~£50 iirc and does the job just fine. There's one for £75 BIN on ebay atm.
And thank you both. I think a 2nd hand one might be the way forward.
Can't use an phone app, my phone is too old and crap. Otherwise this would be the obvious solution.