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@dancing james
After periods of abstinence i can either hit the ground running at the usual rate or fool myself with a couple of moderate sessions that I can now control myself.
Either way things start to get pretty messy pretty quickly.
So it may start as special occasions, but quickly that becomes every weekend, becomes whole weekends, becomes everyday.
This does not just apply to intoxicants, but anything that makes me feel slightly different than normal - shopping, eating, fucking, exercise... The notion that moderation and myself belong together is a myth. So these days have to do a lot of things to keep myself in check.