Food

Suppose this should be in "epic fail" too really. It's a recipe from a free “Executive Chef” magazine that arrived with the Grauniad last Saturday. I glanced at it when I’d had a couple of glasses of wine and thought I was either a lot more drunk than I’d previously thought or I’d suddenly developed severe dyslexia. I read one particular paragraph half a dozen times and although I recognized the format, style and all but one or two words (which I took to be exotic ingredients) I couldn’t make it add up in my brain.

The next day I dug it out to see what was going on. Thank fuck in the cold light of day the entire article still made no sense. Looks like it was hastily run though an online Spanish/English translator then published unedited in a free glossy magazine. Well done there Mr Sainsbury!

Juan Mari Arzak’s Pretty in Bonfire of Grudges

(for which the list of ingredients includes “Salt, jengibre in dust”)

For the gravy of skins and grudges:
To cut the tomato and to pass it though the plate with a little of oil. On the other hand, to fry with half of the oil the skins of pretty until they are crujientes. To slip them well. To mix the ingredients. To crush and to strain. To ripen.

**For the Backs of pretty: **
To cut the back of pretty in rectangles (2 you unite. To/per). One of the rectangles will have to be something greater than the other. To ripen, to give point of jengibre to grease the gravy and to pass it though the plate leaving substantial back.

For the red oil of pepper:
To each other to rub well all grains of pepper. To recover single the skins and to mix them with the oil. To reserve.

**END AND PRESENTATION: **

In the centre of the plate to place the backs of pretty standing up. To it’s side, with the aid of a tube, to draw circles with the gravy of skins. Salsear slightly on the backs of pretty the pepper oil