What to say to a bad road user

I need tips on how to stay calm too.

listening to music helped, and trying not to open your mouth too I suppose.

Keeping soft rock ballads stuck in my head keeps me calm.

I mean, how can you be anything other than calm with this in your head?

YouTube - Toto - I Won't Hold You Back

Nice one Mick.
Will be compiling a new list of soft ballads for handing out to trainees.

my earlier ballad list clearly needed updating
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jhSeD9j6h_M

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f3bhuNUhMuI&feature=fvst

I ≤3 Toto!
Off to my Soft Rock playlist on Spotify.

Cheers guys.

So now it's winter and windows aren't open, they can't hear you.
What do you do to bad drivers?

I need tips on how to stay calm too. Endangering my life makes me angry, I'd rather not make the situation worse by mouthing expletives, but in such a short window of retaliation, I mean explanation, what else should I do?

I shoulder charged a toyota pick-up this morning. I lost, it hurts, I cant recommend it.

I ≤3 Toto!
Off to my Soft Rock playlist on Spotify.

Cheers guys.

I won't hold you back...

Hey ^ hey...
I see what you did there.

Smooth.

Depends on the situation. the other day was riding on a medium size road, a cabbys just infront of me and suddenly starts to pull over. So Im basically being run into the curb sideways by this idiot, hes in a massive toyota people carrier so hes too far ahead of me so i can wave my arm and stop him running me over, only thing I could do was bash the window. That got his attention. We had a shouting match for about 400yards up the road whilst gong along, aprently he was going to get out of his cab and 'fuck me in the ass'. Ha. I told him to get out then...he didnt. After repeatedly telling him he didnt look when he was pulling over and couldve dragged me underneath the car he finally admitted he was in the wrong, more shouting and no apology then just sped off. Taxi drivers are assholes.

I had something similar, but with a civi. bloke (mid 30s) was in a clio and had just, a second before, overtaken me coming to a roundabout, then had to stop, as I filter through again he's set off and swerved into me. So i bang on his window. Low and behold he zooms off then stops at the side of the road, gets out and comes strutting towards me. The blokes a fair bit shorter than me and not right intimidating... he's squaring up to me (bear in mind at this point I'm still on my bike with my right foot clipped in) when he's finished giving it all "you're a fucking danger ra ra ra what do you think you're doing banging on my car bla bla bla" I've unclipped and am leaning towards him, I say " look mate, at the end of the day, you need to look where you're fucking going. You drive into me, from your point of view, your car might get scratched. From my point of view, you could kill me."

He didn't have anything to say to that, apart from quietly saying "you should be more careful" as he returned to his car. Never been sure if it was him trying to get the last word in, a last ditch attempt at intimidation, or a genuine "stay safe"

New to this road stuff so punched a Lexus yesterdya morning in Liverpool!

Nothing like starting the way you mean to go on :)

Any more detail on why you punched a Lexus?

Any more detail on why you punched a Lexus?

It was a Lexus! How much more detail do we need?!

Good responses. I have great difficulty containing my anger when my life is threatened by laziness or incompetence.

My favourite response is to ask them whether they would pass their test like that.
That or steal their keys and throw them far way - This does not work on Volvos.

Good responses. I have great difficulty containing my anger when my life is threatened by laziness or incompetence.

My favourite response is to ask them whether they would pass their test like that.
That or steal their keys and throw them far way - This does not work on Volvos.

Because the gravitational pull of the Volvo sucks the key back in through the window right?

Just look em in the eye, smile and say:

"Apparently you are in a hurry" or "you seem tense" or "Faster faster, Please hurry up!" always keep it cheerfull. After all, we are the ones having fun. Drivers in London are paying through the nose to have a terrible time.

However, if they say, "You don't pay tax", I say "I don't pay for sex either"... ;-)

When a bus driver cuts you up to get to a bus stop, pull up by the driver, smile and say, "We are not so different, you and I. The main difference between us is.... (pause here) You're a Bus Driver!". Watch their little heads explode.

Just smile and wave brothers and sisters, smile and wave... We need do nothing except exist. They will defeat themselvs in the end.

On a more serious note, I have had a number of instances of abuse while I have been on the road with a school group. This includes a BSM instructor ("You're all a bunch of fucking twats" - shouted at a groupe of Yr6 children) A taxi that ran a child off the road at a pinch point as the snake was going through and a number of people who shout versions of, "you shouldn't be on the road!". Thankfully this is very rare but it does happen.

I am acutely aware that as an instructor I am representing Cyclists/the school/the bourough and am a role model for the children in my care. My standard response has become, "Would you like your children to be spoken to or treated in that manner?" Always makes the fools stop and think.

Interesting. Did you report the BSM instructor? I certainly would.

No I didn't.... That was two years ago when I was newly accredited and wasn't as militant as I am now! However, the impact on the children was positive to my surprise.

The next day we were standing on a corner discussing the drill that we were going to do. I asked, "what are some of the things we should look out for on this road?" they all answered together, "BSM cars!" :-)

Sometimes people say versions of "You don't pay tax..." I say, "I don't pay for sex either"

I like "neither do you" when they says that, make them think.

"I've got your registration. I'm going to find out where you live using a V888 form and a false name and then I'm going to see how many of the death variations from the SAW film franchise I can perform on you and your family before the police arrive."

Feel free to stop after the first sentence.

I like "neither do you" when they says that, make them think.

Nothing makes 'em think while in red mist of their indignant road rage. So say nothing.

I say 'I have a car so that means I do pay vehicel excise duty. and it's nicer than yours! Roads however are paid for by funds from council tax and central government. To I which I also contribute'.

Then they hit me for being a knob.

So actually skydancer's response might be better. Glance at them, but then look away. Or perhaps try the hardnut looking-right-through-you-as-if-you're-not-there routine.

skydancer's respond is exactly what I says to trainee when they want to know how to deal with such instruction.

the 'keep calm and carry on' slogan has never been truer.

I say 'have you tried beeping your horn? it usually works for me. or stamping your feet.'

"look out for the pot holes, this road is terrible."