Merry F*ckin' Christmas

A publicly acceessible thread about fucking Xmas

Happy fucking Xmas

Cook your turkey to an internal temperature of 165 celsius. Timings are not a useful measure as they never take the starting temp of the bird into consideration.

Often the body of the bird cooks faster so once up to temp pull it out and leave to stand, but the legs can take longer so cut them off and put back in the oven for longer. This will avoid some of the overcooking of the white meat - people often wait until the juices run clear from the legs by which time the breast has been nuked.

Ideally leave it to stand for an hour or more, its a huge bird and will benefit from the time to relax and won't get cold.

Do the parsnips with honey and Parmesan

Sprouts are little bitter balls of snot so just throw them away - or cut into quarters and add to a pan with some lardons that have been fried a little to release the fat, add some chestnuts and season. Will piss off the veggies.

Carrots slice lengthways. Put in a pan with about a cm of water, honey or brown sugar, butter salt and cracked pepper. Cook until the pan has nearly run dry and the glaze is turning v slightly to caramel. Add more butter for gloss and finish and scatter chopped parsley on top. Cooking this way means the sugar of the carrots is retained and not boiled out and then poured down the drain.

thanks mum.
have a fatty christmas
x