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  • My window cleaner is ace.

    He's been out in all this weather cleaning windows, and nipping constantly on a very large hip flask, from about nine in the morning.

    I asked him once if he was worried about it being odd drinking whisky at that time in the morning.

    His reply:

    "I am self employed. I am my own man. Normal rules do not apply to me."

    Chin chin, here's mud in you eye...

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