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@cliveo
Rover was a faithful hound and followed his master everywhere, which, invariably, meant that he spent a lot of time sitting in the bar at the local pub. After some years, Rover died and was buried in his owner's garden. Buried that is, apart from his tail which was stuffed and mounted in a display case in the pub.
Rover's spirit wejnt up to the Pearly Gates where the canine St Peter looked at him and said "Sorry mate, you can't come in here without a tail. Whole dogs only. Pop back and get your tail and we can talk about it."
So the spirit of Rover went back to the pub in the middle of the night and tried to recover his tail from the display cabinet. It crashed to the floor and burst open, awakening the publican who rushed downstairs to see what was happening. When he saw what was going on he said:
"Sorry mate, we can't retail spirits after last orders."