Football

I've been living in London since 1984, and today was the first day I ever bought The SUN. The headline of Arsene Wenger getting his French bit-on-the-side preggers made me buy it. The devil, I never thought he had it in him. I retract my previous comments that he was too fey. He seems rather normal after all.

I must admit that when I saw that headline when I was out getting my lunch, it stopped me in my tracks, such was my shock. I thought the man lived and breathed football, and certainly didn't have the werewithal to pull a French rapper (the one thing you can guarantee is that her work is shit).