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  • Hah! Two more:

    Family members have been asked about funeral arrangements for Bernard Matthews.
    "He's going to be kept in a freezer and cremated on Christmas Day. It's what he would have wanted."

    25/11/2010: Millions of turkeys slaughtered to feed Americans, surviving birds plot revenge.
    26/11/2010: In unrelated news, Bernard Matthews dies aged 80.

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