Formula One ( F1 )

similarly, i got sucked in to watching this again this year several after years of avoiding it. christ it really is a crass and bloated self-congratulatory corporate circle jerk disguised as sport isn't it? it's so insanely corporate, aspirational and elitist that it's almost beyond parody. even the pundits (supposedly our link to that rarefied world) present the show from yachts surrounded by bikini clad models, backslapping european royalty and generally being the kind of rolex wearing cunts who tuck their pink shirts into their white jeans.

having said that i'm still essentially a small boy who's involuntarily intrigued by feats of cutting edge engineering, personal derring-do and lots of noise, speed and danger…so i'm always a bit conflicted about motorsport.

ha! clefty, spot on. i'm not a fan of eddie jordan either, nearly everything he says makes no sense. actually listen to some of the things he comes out with: he seems to start off vaguely on track then inevitably starts to wander off topic. then confused and under pressure from a co-presenter to get to the fucking point ends up groping for the nearest hoary old cliché and usually ends up mangling it into some sort of garbled boss-eyed malapropism. he's a colossal idiot.

and who's the clueless shouty weirdo of a commentator? with murray walker's retirement did they run a competition to find the world's next most falsely over-excited and senile buffoon? apart from shouting with surprise everytime he catches a glimpse of his own feet he also has the debilitating inability (for a commentator) to form coherent sentences when surprised/excited/shocked, which in his case is nearly all the fucking time. when he's not getting everything wrong i.e:

• "OH! ERR! THE BLUE CAR PUTTING A BEAUTIFUL MOVE ON THE RED CAR THERE!"
  
• "actually that's the red car passing the blue car"
  
• "RIGHT!"
  
  

He just works himself into a sort of spluttering incoherence and say stuff like: "OH! THERE HE GOES THOUGH! THERE! DOWN THEE. ERRR OH!"

*facepalm.