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@Northern_Rob
I'd quite happily do 8 years for this, plead diminished and all that. "The thing is M'lud, I find upspeak so violently abhorrent what with it being the incorrect way to talk and this stupid bitch used it ON EVERY SENTENCE I'm afraid I just tracked her down and killed her and everyone she knows. It was for the best, now send me to Belmarsh!"
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