Let's offroad / mountain bike / mtb / ride dirt

Urgh. Looks like i'll have to go Ealing Broadway -> Reading -> MH.
Assuming you are somewhere between Richmond and Ealing (you all got on at Richmond before?), it might be easier to get the train from Kew, Barnes Bridge, or Brentford according to which ever is closer. You will need to change at Staines and it might be a bit of extra riding to get to the station but it's got to be quicker than going all the way out to Reading and back!