Epic fail

Me, yesterday.

Call out the breakdown man for the broken down scooter.

Me -- "It won't start mate, think the coil might be gone, or maybe the battery's leaking to earth, it's just been replaced, so I think it should be ok. Maybe a fuse. Just won't start."
Him -- "Got the keys?"
Me -- "Yep, there you go, but like I say, it won't --"

brrrrmmmm

Him -- "You had the kill switch on. Sign here."
Me -- "..."

Closely followed by phoning the telly box people to ask for a decoder card in my new box.
"It's not working"
"Have you plugged it in?"
"No, there's no card sticking out, it's not working"
"They have integrated cards now, try plugging it in."
"..."

quoted for humiliation X2.. are you the guy who rang up the asda hotline about a pizza without any toppings to find it was upside down?