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  • Me, yesterday.

    Call out the breakdown man for the broken down scooter.

    Me -- "It won't start mate, think the coil might be gone, or maybe the battery's leaking to earth, it's just been replaced, so I think it should be ok. Maybe a fuse. Just won't start."
    Him -- "Got the keys?"
    Me -- "Yep, there you go, but like I say, it won't --"

    brrrrmmmm

    Him -- "You had the kill switch on. Sign here."
    Me -- "..."

    Closely followed by phoning the telly box people to ask for a decoder card in my new box.
    "It's not working"
    "Have you plugged it in?"
    "No, there's no card sticking out, it's not working"
    "They have integrated cards now, try plugging it in."
    "..."

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