Fencing And Medieval Sports

Fencing is well shite and only nipples enjoy it

Dibs.

Totally agree

^nipple

La teta

I had a go at fencing once and it was quite scarey - there were all these faintly wimpy middle management types there, shaking hands with their soft and slightly damp handshakes. I got paired off with one of them; we put our masks on and stood about twenty feet apart; there was a buzzer or whatever and my opponent just lunged across and (mock) impaled me in about one hundredth of a second, over and over again. It was unbelievable how quick he was. I didn't go back, though. I couldn't really see where the fun was in the whole set-up.

Guess who?

Fencing is well shite and only nipples enjoy it

You have to admit, though, that you get to use nice weapons.

Fencing is a poor mans jousting.

You can take a football anywhere on this planet and I can guarantee that you'll get a game - even in Afghanistan!

Fencing's always going to be a little different.

On the other hand, I've never really seen jousting done other than by those "sealed knot" tits in the west country - you know, the bunch who dress up in hessian and re-enact great, muddy/bloody battles in fields etc. A bit like the TA for those who like the smell of farmyard excrement.

I have to admire the tremendous level of fitness required for fencing, but it's hardly a sport for the masses. Also, I've always like the word "lunge."

fencing is for the knobs, this is what you really want:

and I always fancied stoving in the head of an evil adversary with my trusty morning star (not a mace)

......and I always fancied stoving in the head of an evil adversary with my trusty morning star (not a mace)

Careful, this'll get merged with Ed's "what to stove in bad drivers heads with" thread.

Stoolball, I thought that was invented by a girls school as an alternative to cricket.

I prefer topiary.

I used to do that at a gardens I worked at.

I had a go at fencing once and it was quite scarey - there were all these faintly wimpy middle management types there, shaking hands with their soft and slightly damp handshakes. I got paired off with one of them; we put our masks on and stood about twenty feet apart; there was a buzzer or whatever and my opponent just lunged across and (mock) impaled me in about one hundredth of a second, over and over again. It was unbelievable how quick he was. I didn't go back, though. I couldn't really see where the fun was in the whole set-up.

He just sounds like the type of twat who has experience at something and like to show everyone that he can repeatedly beat someone who has never done the sport before.

YouTube - Indiana Jones and the shoot of death

YouTube - Lightning Bolt

YouTube - Indiana Jones and the shoot of death

This was not meant to happen- they had choreographed a huge fight scene.

However Harrison Ford had the chronic galloping shits that day, and needed to run to the thunderbox at the point the camera's were rolling, hence the revolver.

I'm a nipple. I have the breeches to prove it.

Ad-Lib, clever Harrison.

My brother needs a panel replaced in his back garden. Is this the right thread or should I be looking in the DIY thread?

It depends whether he wants a drawbridge or portcullis installed in its place.

Moat? Palissade?