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@Sparky
Alright PuP, going to have to cut those lovely new grips off - the stem's buggered! Gutted. Tried to slip them off but you did way too good a job... Going over to Sailor's place on Friday night and hopefully will be fitting a new stem and cranks, then it'll be on the way.
Rode it to work this morning; bent cranks, wonky pedals, no brakes and loose stem. The name Deathtrap is becoming more appropriate by the day...