101 wankers

Don't do that, you'll just look childish. Just ignore them if they're being sexist. You play with pigs you get covered in shit

I'm a female cyclist who has to put up with this crap, even in rural Lincs. As guys, what do you suggest is the best action/reaction to these idiots - ignore, shout back,wave the bird....? I was physically attacked when I was younger so maybe have a bit more fear/reserve than needed but dammit!!! I ride 125-150 miles a week and am not going to let any c*nts stop me...

I have no end of this crap too, particularly if I'm wearing a dress (oh, the HORROR). If you want to avoid it, one thing I have found amazingly effective is to wear a helmet! Wankers seem much less drawn to me when I do, I probably get only half as many comments.

When I do get comments, I used to just ignore them - but I think that this sends a message that you're ok with the behaviour. If you don't object, men think its acceptable to act in that way. So now I cheerfully give them the finger. What I find amazing is that most people look embarrassed and ashamed when I do that - which suggests that they really do know that they're being wankers!

... If you don't object, men think its acceptable to act in that way...

Got to agree.

Exactly what action you take is a personal judgement call, but if you don't do anything then nothings going to change.

Nothings going to change anyway. The worlds full of bell ends. "Fuck it" is the healthiest attitude.

Just as you think ignoring them affirms their actions, I think responding does also. Don't justify the twats with an answer

Nothings going to change anyway. The worlds full of bell ends. "Fuck it" is the healthiest attitude.

Just as you think ignoring them affirms their actions, I think responding does also. Don't justify the twats with an answer

but if you say nothing they'll enjoy themselves saying crap and giggle about it afterwards

if someone says something back, there might be a little spark in the back of one of their minds that what they were doing wasn't very nice

I've got a fair bit of faith in ppl. Obviously the world is full of dickheads, but when it comes down to it most ppl have a good side and it's worth trying to reach it.

I still firmly maintain that the vast majority of guys who do this really don't realise the effect of their actions. Trying to make them think a little will make more difference than doing nothing.

Don't do that, you'll just look childish. Just ignore them if they're being sexist. You play with pigs you get covered in shit

You could also end up with a shit load of truffles.

I suspect that a lot of people behave in that way because they get off on intimidating women - telling them to STFU takes that pleasure away from them.
Any anyway, whether or not it will cause people to change their behaviour, objecting to wankers' actions makes me feel better!

On my way home tonight I got two wankers on a scooter making "Orrite darlin'!" kind of noises at me every so often. I was almost home when they started driving very close to me, then the guy on the back reached out and tried to grab or hit me. I did a bit of a swear/swerve/speedy burst, then they fucked off ahead because there was a car behind. Said car pulls up next to me as I'm shouting and shaking my middle finger and (for some unknown reason) trying to catch up with them. Guy leans out of the window, and I expected he might ask if I'm alright. No. He says: "Well, you do have a nice arse."

On my way home tonight I got two wankers on a scooter making "Orrite darlin'!" kind of noises at me every so often. I was almost home when they started driving very close to me, then the guy on the back reached out and tried to grab or hit me. I did a bit of a swear/swerve/speedy burst, then they fucked off ahead because there was a car behind. Said car pulls up next to me as I'm shouting and shaking my middle finger and (for some unknown reason) trying to catch up with them. Guy leans out of the window, and I expected he might ask if I'm alright. No. He says: "Well, you do have a nice arse."

Christ.

This sort of thing gets me so angry.

So if that twat had knocked you off and left you in a crumpled heap in the gutter would there reaction be to get out of their vehicles rush to your side and have a good tweak of your arse?

(tripod on handlebar), ready to be turned on if anyone decided to make a fuss?

I approve of your strategy of one-upping sexual harassers by visible sexual arousal, as I suspect it will mess with their heads something rotten, but most of us can't hope to emulate it.

On my way home tonight I got two wankers on a scooter making "Orrite darlin'!" kind of noises at me every so often. I was almost home when they started driving very close to me, then the guy on the back reached out and tried to grab or hit me. I did a bit of a swear/swerve/speedy burst, then they fucked off ahead because there was a car behind. Said car pulls up next to me as I'm shouting and shaking my middle finger and (for some unknown reason) trying to catch up with them. Guy leans out of the window, and I expected he might ask if I'm alright. No. He says: "Well, you do have a nice arse."

unfortunately I'm not surprised, this shit gets me so riled.
I think by this point the car would have made friends with my d-lock...
Fuckers

(teapots posting as adaplace)

More of a data point than anything; can't remember the last time i was harassed on the bike, but i may be a little immune to it. Certainly no more than once every couple of months, which is probably less than most men on here. Maybe because i'm quite big on a bike, i ride kind of medium-assertive, definitely not aggressive but not in the gutter, and i'm pretty chilled out, i hang back a lot and if i get a funny vibe from a junction i just get off and walk.

I remember i got more abuse several years back (maybe once or twice a month), but now i'm older, and i dress down (ie. nothing figure-hugging, no skin). Unfortunately that crap probably has an effect. And i usually wear high vis - makes you less 'attractive' somehow. Most common seemed to be people at bus stops yelling "Chinky!" at me as i cycled past - racial not sexual. From cars/vans some racial stuff, some sexual/racial (i'm sure you can imagine the typical). I honestly don't think i've ever had references to my saddle... A couple of times a van has found it 'amusing' to force me into the kerb on a left bend, no idea if that has anything to do with gender.

I never respond other than giving them the evil eye. Maybe i should, but i can easily shake it off most of the time and get on with my day, whereas it would make me very flustered to respond. Also sometimes they are just trying to wind you up / need a bit of attention etc. and i'd rather not.

Here's where it's going to go a bit awry as i'll say something wrong i know... but to the nice men who are wondering how the nasty men think the 'chat-up lines' are supposed to work? They don't. It's to assert dominance, to intimidate others in a low-risk way, that's all. Sometimes they just want to scare you, and women are the target. Also, i don't know if it's just me - but i really get bothered by 'nice men' who want to defend me. Your chivalry is misplaced. I know people on here are properly genuinely angry about abuse their partners and friends have received, but they might not (i'm not them so i don't know) really appreciate you taking to a d-lock to the perpetrator's face. Or even talking about it. I can't quite articulate why i get this rage when someone tries to stand up for me - maybe it's to do with it just being part of 'women are weak and need defending' thing, maybe it's because this crap happens all the time and is part of a pervasive .. something to do with how we live, and men don't often realise that and then get really worked up about something that happens. I don't know. I know there are women who can and will defend themselves, all power to them. That doesn't make me angry (although i'm not keen on a violence on stupidity solution). I'll stop now.

Also, i don't know if it's just me - but i really get bothered by 'nice men' who want to defend me. Your chivalry is misplaced. I know people on here are properly genuinely angry about abuse their partners and friends have received, but they might not (i'm not them so i don't know) really appreciate you taking to a d-lock to the perpetrator's face. Or even talking about it. I can't quite articulate why i get this rage when someone tries to stand up for me - maybe it's to do with it just being part of 'women are weak and need defending' thing, maybe it's because this crap happens all the time and is part of a pervasive .. something to do with how we live, and men don't often realise that and then get really worked up about something that happens. I don't know. I know there are women who can and will defend themselves, all power to them. That doesn't make me angry (although i'm not keen on a violence on stupidity solution). I'll stop now.

Most decent guys will want to do something if they see a woman being harassed by some guy(s), not necessarily because they are trying to be chivalrous, but because they think it is the right thing to do, and they would probably do the same thing if it was a bloke on his own.

The odd time I have seen this I have wondered whether I should do anything from exactly the comment you have made above. I have seen some student girl getting harrassed by some student guys and I have observed and seen whether the situation got the point where I thought I should do something.

I don't want to jump in a be a dick, and I don't want to let something bad happen by ignoring the event. So what I am I to do?

The one time I thought it did I just asked the girl whether she was alright and the guys fucked off once they saw me. I was scared shitless, there were 4 guys, I would have the shit kicked out of me if they turned nasty.

The thing is you sound is that if for example I did help you from your attitude, I would be scorned for it, and it puts genuinely nice people off from helping someone because they may over thinking things because they are worried not about giving aid they are starting to overthink the situation and less likely to do something beneficial.

I am not having a go or anything, I am just saying how I have felt about the same subject.

The thing is you sound is that if for example I did help you from your attitude, I would be scorned for it, and it puts genuinely nice people off from helping someone because they may over thinking things because they are worried not about giving aid they are starting to overthink the situation and less likely to do something beneficial.

You wouldn't be - i'm very polite.

Seriously though, i didn't mean to put off people trying to help other people out, i realise it sounds that way. What you did sounds like a good thing to have done. What i was thinking of isn't an actual situation where someone else can come in and actually help by doing something, but is the more common (much more common to me, and i'm glad of that) thing where there is no situation beyond the insult /brief incident. Does that make sense? So when you then get someone trying to 'defend' you it isn't actually helping you (some would argue catching up and having a go might help the next person), and usually they are just talking about it anyway, like if you tell them about it when you get home. etc.

I fully support trying to help people, any gender, you see in trouble by themselves. I've done it and it wasn't what i was thinking of... just letting my grump confuse things i guess.

I understand what you are saying now.

Just to add - IMO you did the things the right way by asking the girl if she was alright, ie. giving her a choice. Good rule of thumb and much less likely to get a bad response from ungrateful so and sos (me) than jumping right in...

But if a man is offended by the actions of other men towards a woman he has the right to express that, without necessarily involving the female.

The same goes for any harassment or trouble, racial or whatever.
This is very important in the scheme of things to reduce the "bystander" effect where onlookers do nothing whilst crimes are committed in front of them.

But if a man is offended by the actions of other men towards a woman he has the right to express that, without necessarily involving the female.

you are aware how condescending that sounds right?

While I know what you're getting at it's always better to ask (from experience)

I totally see what RPM is trying to say, though ... if someone is being a sexist (or any other kind of offensiveness, racist or homophobic or ageist or disabledist ... errr you know what I mean) then i think people have a right to object, and that's nothing to do with some notion of helping or trying to protect someone, but simply letting that aggressive person know firmly that their behaviour is unacceptable. Perhaps the manner in which someone may intervene is crucial .. not to be all 'Are you alright darlin? Want me to beat them up?' but actually focussing on the idiot and not on the person being victimised.

It's not condescending, I certainly didn't mean it to be.

Here's an example:

Bin men outside my house, clucking and whistling and doing that"cocky walk" thing to two young women walking past, the women ignore them and carry on their way. Once they have gone I go outside and explain to the bin men that I find their behavior unacceptable.
What is the problem with that?

Nothing to do with "stepping in" or anything like that.

I've been riding in London for about 16 years and had a the usual amount of verbal which I usually respond to with the finger or a very loud fuck off (I know it's childish but I just can't help it). A few years ago a car passed me in Camberwell and some guy leaned out of the back window and smacked my arse. Then to add insult to injury then then shouted 'wahay' in a I'm so fucking cool way. But this being Camberwell I cycled after them and caught up with them at the traffic lights in Denmark hill and scratched the side of the car with my cleats. Again - knee jerk reaction as I was so furious. Astonishingly enough they then apologised.

oh, and when he smacked me we were both moving. No thought at all to how dangerous that would be.

On my way home tonight I got two wankers on a scooter making "Orrite darlin'!" kind of noises at me every so often. I was almost home when they started driving very close to me, then the guy on the back reached out and tried to grab or hit me. I did a bit of a swear/swerve/speedy burst, then they fucked off ahead because there was a car behind. Said car pulls up next to me as I'm shouting and shaking my middle finger and (for some unknown reason) trying to catch up with them. Guy leans out of the window, and I expected he might ask if I'm alright. No. He says: "Well, you do have a nice arse."

classic mistake, he should have started with empathy got your number and used the "Well, you do have a nice arse." when you're relaxed on the sofa and vulnerable to his charms.

It's not condescending, I certainly didn't mean it to be.

Here's an example:

Bin men outside my house, clucking and whistling and doing that"cocky walk" thing to two young women walking past, the women ignore them and carry on their way. Once they have gone I go outside and explain to the bin men that I find their behavior unacceptable.
What is the problem with that?

Nothing to do with "stepping in" or anything like that.

More people should do this.