Food

i went to a proper greek wedding in crete last week. it was quite an experience. i'm not squeamish at all usually but the food and drink at this thing were pretty spectaculaly inedible. got pics of some of it... probably best avoided if you're of a sensitive disposition.

let me set the scene: our small party of six were over for a week around a friend's wedding. english groom greek bride. turns out there's a "thing" organised for pretty much evey night we're there and they all involve dancing, drinking and not getting back to the appartment before 5am.

• first night there, big meal out , lots of wine and raki (hideous homebrewed aniseed flavoured paint stripper from plastic bottles served at every available opportunity). 3am finish.

• second night, pre-wedding bed ceremony and family barbequeue, dancing, beers, wine, raki, 5am finish.

• third night there, last minute stag do, beers, clubbing, whiskey, raki, 5am finish...

so by the day of the wedding i'm feeling pretty shaky, jaded and horribly, horribly hungover. we all are.

the wedding is at 7pm in a little church cut into in the rock by the harbour. it's about 32 degrees and no wind at all. just as they're starting out the groom faints. goes down like a sack of spuds. they get him up, give him some water, take his jacket off, start again... and he goes down again. eventually get him standing into all the chanting and general wedding stuff. ten minutes in, another guest goes down, then another. it's just so hot and airless and i'm sure the fainting is contageous; you empathise and before you know it you're starting to go.

my missus starts to feel wobbly so i take her off for a sit down, then i start to go. i feel my head go all cold and my knees start feeling shaky. the ceremony went on for over an hour.

then it's over we're all loaded into a coach and driven up a terrifying winding road up to a beautiful taverna in the hills for dinner.

it was absolutely charming and a beautiful setting... but i'm afraid that by the time we got there i hadn't eaten all day, was shaky, queasy, dehydrated, starving, borderline passing out and massivley jaded and ill at ease. the absolutely pounding traditional greek music and gunshot like fireworks they kept setting off behind me weren't helping with my nerves either. i've possibly never been in more dire need of a steak and a beer in my life.

so imagine our combined joy when we're confronted with a table containing, weird green cakes, one jug of paintstripper raki and unlimited bottles of the local home-brewed wine (pic attached). there were some bottles that were almost clear but when someone on our table took up two bottles to show the difference and ask if we could have another of the clear ones he was told they were all the same and it was just pot-luck.

they all tasted like vinegar to be fair.

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