Wanted: 80's/90's MTB shoes, Sidi etc

Just like everyone else I want some garish MTB shoes, preferably Sidi that perfectly epitomise the late 80's/early 90's.

Symptoms:

Lives within 50ft of the all night beigel bake - check.
Moody new hair - check
Rides fixed - check
Drinks cider - check
Will go to the opening of an envelope - check
Wants stuff from the late 80's/90's - check
Delusions of courierism - check

Diagnosis:

Hipster

Cure:

Unknown at this point in time. There really is no hope for hopeless cases.