Help needed - bike impounded by police

Replace the police with roaming bike vigilantes dispensing d-lock justice to thieves and dangerous drivers.

You don't have to put up a sign - get two staff members to advertise the shop to passing cyclists, standing right at the bit where they'd ride up on the pavement. Of course, if by doing so you delay their ride onto the pavement enough for them to notice the Keystone Cops, then all the better.

My gf and I got fed up with cyclists getting pulled in front of us while we were having coffee outside a cafe in Islington. We took to hailing them all and pointing to the cops. Cyclists dismount, CPSOs get frustrated and bugger off somewhere else. Only took 10mins and two stops before they got the message.

If you're merely saying there are cunts about rather than policemen or PCSOs you're just expressing an opinion, and it could be about anyone. no?

That was the Penn and Teller defence.

In the early days of the AA, before they drove Minivans the reason they saluted to badge holders was that if they failed to, you were supposed to stop and ask them why. They could then warn you about speed traps.

In the early days of the AA, before they drove Minivans the reason they saluted to badge holders was that if they failed to, you were supposed to stop and ask them why. They could then warn you about speed traps.

Never heard that before, love it.

Couple of jobsworth British Transport Police tried to fine me for cycling on the pavement the other day - because I was sitting stationary on my bike on the pavement waiting for some lights to change to stop the traffic to let me cross to an opposing lane on a dual carriageway - sphincters.