Rant

ok, so what in God's cock is going on with all these hopeless imbeciles riding with their hands right up close to the stem?

No, this is not the fixie skidders with cut down bars or drops that they don't use, that position is a consequence of the fashion and the usual location of a single brake lever. This I don't particularly condone but I do accept.

However, what I do take exception to is the increasing number of human wastrels I see riding like this on their hybrids and mountain bikes. Where are all the controls? yes, gears and brakes are all operated by holding the grips which are ON THE END OF THE BARS, you desperate fucking morons.

Trying to emulate the fixie prix by sitting up like someone who has just had a corn-on-the-cob rammed up your rectal passage and holding the bars around the stem-clamp does not make you look good at all, in fact you look like even more of a brainless bit of shit as you ride down the inside of slowing traffic at speed and realise far too late that you can't slow down, stop or even simply control your direction with any semblance of competence when that ped steps out or the traffic moves in and cuts you up.

Whilst we are here with this, since when has it ever been a good idea to ride on the inside of an articulated vehicle? or indeed any vehicle? see that huge mass of free space on the outside of this line of traffic? obviously you need your fucking eyes tested as it's the perfect place to do your overtaking but you consistently decide to attempt to squeeze along the kerb.

You know who you are, you must make the changes now, before some driver decides to castrate you with cable ties and post the remains of your pathetic testicles to your mum. Or worse.