Mummy, he's picking on me!

To what extent does Hamlet's soliloquy stand as a metaphor for fixed wheel cycling in London in the early 21st century?

Loads of ansgty navel-gazing talk by self-absorbed Mama's boys with very little real action?

80 Northerners armed with war badgers and rusty shovels could defeat the whole of London in about three days.

No chance.

80s Northerners though.. different matter.

Taches and snow washed denim would provide the edge to this campaign, modern London would not adapt.

What use the iPad against the revving engines of a fleet of Ford Escort XR31s, "ride on time" by Black Box blaring from the radio-cassette players like some Wagnerian battle call?

Burnsall! Down by the river, Red Lion!

Appletreewick, (or Apptrick to you Craven lot!) is still fucking awesome! The Craven Arms isn't the same since big Jim Nickelson died though.

The New Inn is still brilliant - only pub I know with actual bike stables and guided mountain bike tours through the dales. Beer is ace, food is ace and the pub is the home of the Appletreewick Dangerous Sports Club. Awesome.

Let's do it!

I bought some cigars from the Red Lion at the weekend- I was attending a wedding at the Devonshire Fell.

Good man, Dammit!
Did you like our neck of the woods?

The Devonshire Fell? Very swish - more a Red Lion man myself though.

The crumble has been delayed by a few hours due to family nagging and general hectoring from Mrs Lucifer - at least I've got a fridge full of ale now.

I'm feeding the rabble then cracking on with baking loveliness.

No chance.

80s Northerners though.. different matter.

Taches and snow washed denim would provide the edge to this campaign, modern London would not adapt.

What use the iPad against the revving engines of a fleet of Ford Escort XR31s, "ride on time" by Black Box blaring from the radio-cassette players like some Wagnerian battle call?

We still have tashes and Escorts - no 'Black Box' though. Only the Grimethorpe Colliery Band marching ahead of us, thundering out Wagner's Ride of the vuvuzelas.

Lovely part of the world- would love to come back with the bikes, maybe in August.

Do you have a roomy, waterproof shed I could hire for a week?

England outside London sucks (...)

London outside my house also sucks big time. It's time to fucking depart.

I'm a courgette purist: slice about 1cm thick, steam until just starting to turn translucent, serve. Hot, juicy, sweet and bitter.

steamed food is for sissys

I only like my food grilled. To within an inch of it's life.

I hope that doesn't include steak.

I like my meat rare. Endangered species taste so much better.

London forum not northern nothingness.

I hope that doesn't include steak.

I was just trying to think of a manly (i.e. non-sissy) way of eating food. I usually have a medium steak, I'm not enough of a connoisseur to have it blue.

You were looking for spit roast.

I only like my food grilled. To within an inch of it's life.

I like my food microwaved. OK, I don't like it, but I survived my prime years and now I don't care.

Going back to the Crumble ... https://www.lfgss.com/thread44414.html

Not that I want this to start up again... But teenslain is a warrior for justice. That is all.

There is no justice. Just us.

Not that I want this to start up again... But teenslain is a warrior for justice. That is all.

And I don't want to fan any flames, but...

You, sir, are talking out of your clacker valve.

There's no excuse for the Great Shit Storm of 2010 - it is best ignored and forgotten about.
Thus the frenzy for pastry based banter that followed the bellowing and shrieking.
We wanted to get onto more comfortable ground as quickly as possible.

Let's hope there is no return to any of that crap.

That really is all.

I win.